The Praise That Kept Me Going

Their words were what kept me going

I could never see what they saw,

Only all that I hated about myself:

Hip bones that barely showed,

The fat that hung over the tops of my jeans,

And the way that my arms sagged.

But I had something they all strived for.

Something that media felt girls needed to know about:

The thigh gap.

It determined no girls beauty, but society wanted us to hate ourselves

Another trick to get young girls into trying new workouts

Or starving themselves for days at a time

People who didn’t know me and that I would never meet

Constantly praised the body I hated so much

Their harsh words were what kept me going

Things I thought were compliments

That were actually tearing me apart

You can starve for longer next time

No don’t eat that, it’ll bloat you

Keep going, lose the weight

No one is going to love you if you’re fat

You can do it

These girls were killing me

A slow, sad death

My insides were rotting

My brain was being poisoned

And I kept starving