There's a song, here in my hands,
that I cannot find the chords for
There's a poem in my mouth
that has no words
Somewhere deep inside
where all my demons hide
There's a story I could tell
that won't be heard
There's ink smeared on my fingers
that never found a page
And paint splashed on my shirt
that has no canvas
There's a rhythm in my fingers
that will forever linger
because the world is cruel
so I've learned to take no chances.
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Author:
JustABird (
Offline) - Published: August 3rd, 2016 14:39
- Comment from author about the poem: Thank you to Garry for helping me figure out the last bit. :)
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 103
Offline)
Comments7
HI JAB ~ Thanks for sharing ~ a well structured poem throbbing with rhythm ~ nice to read ! However the message is rather sombre ~ but we all have times like that ! When the song won't sing ~ the poem is wordless ~ inky fingers but no story ~ paint everywhere but a blank canvas ~ yes the World is cruel ~ BUT ~ if we don't take chances ~ the DEMONS will have won ! Every blessing ~ BRIAN
Even your comments are poetic. Why am I not surprised? Thanks for taking the time to read it and let me know what you think. 🙂
Found this quite moving and enjoyed reading, the repitition and imagery particularly.
Thank you very much.
Great imagery. Some beautiful phrases.
Thank you, I am really proud of the start of this one but not completely happy with the ending. :/
Why i wonder? Can we ask?
It just feels like it doesn't flow as well as the rest. It's a little discordant to me.
It's a very beautiful poem.
The way I read it in my head i suppose I agree that the very last line didn't flow quite as well as the rest, but this brings it to a definite end, so might actually be a good thing.
I mulled it over a few times when I first read it and wondered about
".... learned to take no chances"
I think it's a very beautiful poem.
Wow. Thank you. I do like what you came up with. Would you mind if I use that?
No i would be thrilled. Are you sure you want it to scan? Not scanning might add a certain sonething. But i would delighted to have been of help.
I can see your point but I think I like it better your way. Thank you.
Delighted. I look forward to reading it agsin. And your next offering is not too far away, i hope.
I'd have been very proud if I'd written it.
And overall it flows with ease and style.
Good write. Sometimes it's just writer's block though - or painter's block, etc!
Haha. Thank you.
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