Fear of Rejection

JustABird

There's a song, here in my hands,

that I cannot find the chords for

There's a poem in my mouth

that has no words

Somewhere deep inside

where all my demons hide

There's a story I could tell

that won't be heard

There's ink smeared on my fingers

that never found a page

And paint splashed on my shirt 

that has no canvas

There's a rhythm in my fingers

that will forever linger

because the world is cruel

so I've learned to take no chances.

 

 

 

  • Author: JustABird (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 3rd, 2016 14:39
  • Comment from author about the poem: Thank you to Garry for helping me figure out the last bit. :)
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 103
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Comments +

Comments7

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    HI JAB ~ Thanks for sharing ~ a well structured poem throbbing with rhythm ~ nice to read ! However the message is rather sombre ~ but we all have times like that ! When the song won't sing ~ the poem is wordless ~ inky fingers but no story ~ paint everywhere but a blank canvas ~ yes the World is cruel ~ BUT ~ if we don't take chances ~ the DEMONS will have won ! Every blessing ~ BRIAN

    • JustABird

      Even your comments are poetic. Why am I not surprised? Thanks for taking the time to read it and let me know what you think. 🙂

    • princesslay

      Found this quite moving and enjoyed reading, the repitition and imagery particularly.

      • JustABird

        Thank you very much.

      • Garry

        Great imagery. Some beautiful phrases.

        • JustABird

          Thank you, I am really proud of the start of this one but not completely happy with the ending. :/

        • Garry

          Why i wonder? Can we ask?

          • JustABird

            It just feels like it doesn't flow as well as the rest. It's a little discordant to me.

          • Garry

            It's a very beautiful poem.
            The way I read it in my head i suppose I agree that the very last line didn't flow quite as well as the rest, but this brings it to a definite end, so might actually be a good thing.
            I mulled it over a few times when I first read it and wondered about
            ".... learned to take no chances"
            I think it's a very beautiful poem.

            • JustABird

              Wow. Thank you. I do like what you came up with. Would you mind if I use that?

              • Garry

                No i would be thrilled. Are you sure you want it to scan? Not scanning might add a certain sonething. But i would delighted to have been of help.

                • JustABird

                  I can see your point but I think I like it better your way. Thank you.

                  • Garry

                    Delighted. I look forward to reading it agsin. And your next offering is not too far away, i hope.

                  • Garry

                    I'd have been very proud if I'd written it.
                    And overall it flows with ease and style.

                  • orchidee

                    Good write. Sometimes it's just writer's block though - or painter's block, etc!

                    • JustABird

                      Haha. Thank you.



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