the Skeletons in my closet

good night

“ when i see you my stomach turns

but not like butterflies

more like with pure disgust and hatred

and those words you told me…

they are stuck replaying in my mind

and i will carry them with me

wherever i go

and your name is always on my mind

not like a crush

but like the cause of your pain

and i can’t stop myself from screaming it sometimes

i hope one day i will forget your face

but in my sleep

it seems like it’s the only face i have ever known

it’s 11:00 and i am wide awake

because i know when i close my eyes to sleep i will see you

and i just can’t do it tonight!

i just can’t do it!

so i would rather never sleep again

if that means not seeing you in my dreams

and it doesn’t help that ryan is far away

and i don’t mind it

but tonight i am a mess

mascara running down my red face

and i won’t stop shaking

because my body is remembering his touch

and i can’t think straight anymore

because every time i go to think you pop up

i get so angry thinking about you!

you aren’t stable

as you were raping me ….

you were saying you were going to take care of me????

you can’t make up your mind

you go to church …

and worship God

yet you are engaging in sexual behavior   …

you can’t make up your mind

i think i affected you as well …

i mean i must pop up in your dreams too right?

i hope my screams keep you up

i hope you wake up ashamed of who you are

because i still  can’t believe you actually did that to me

i hate myself because of you …

i hope you feel the same