drowning, sinking and swimming...

do·mes·tic

i placed my trust in you.

i allowed you to hear my cries

and see my wounds

i allowed you in my life

and you learned my biggest flaws

and deepest fears

and then you left.

you left without thinking twice

you kissed her.

with knowing my reaction

would set my emotions on fire

and though you have done me wrong

i also have many faults

i blamed you for my pain at first

but now i see,

that it wasn’t always you

it was mostly me.

and though my heart longs  for your affection

and my mind missing your attention

i will always fear you hurting me again

and now i believe that i am even more broken

and i think i confused myself

because i am craving your affection

more than i am missing you …

and i wish i had the answers

i wish you knew my questions

because i am crazy about you

but it will only result in tears

and i don’t know who to run to

because you were the only one who cared

and now i sit alone

wondering why i am here.

i don’t understand why i have gone through all of this

or why these bad things always happen…

drowning is different than swimming

when you drown you try to save yourself

you struggle to breathe

and you want to live

when you sink

you aren’t trying to save yourself

you are just sinking

down to the bottom of the ocean floor

i hate to say this

but i am no longer drowning

i am sinking