Empty Comfort

The amount of comfort found in rain is parallel to the emptiness. It’s 2 a.m, it’s raining and I am surrounded by thoughts. I’m thinking about breaking. Actually shattering, sobbing, and gasping for breaths in between wiping the snot from my nose.Breaking feels good. Sometimes necessary. It allows you to slowly pick up your pieces and rebuild yourself however you choose. Stronger. Wiser. Maybe even more bitter but always with a purpose. I know it is cliché but life really does work in mysterious ways. As I lay here I think about how much life I have left to live. Part of me gets excited and the other part simply sighs. In reality I have already come so far and to say my heart is tired would be an understatement but I cannot and will not continue to let myself take this life for granted. Today, as I am picking up my pieces and putting them back together I vow to be more patient with myself. More forgiving and more confident in my constant journey to happiness. I vow to always explain what is not understood and be understanding of what cannot be explained. I vow to love myself every second of everyday and if there ever comes a moment where I find it impossible, I vow to try harder. I vow to never give up on anything that I start or any person that I love. To appreciate relationships even when they are gone and to never hold a grudge against anyone who can’t keep a promise. I vow to risk being hurt in order to risk being loved but most importantly I vow to wake up everyday the best version of myself I can.