Every time....

Every time I see a picture of you or hear your name I am reminded of what it felt like to lose you. I am reminded in everything I do. Like when I wake up in the morning and check my phone to see the "get ready" message which is no longer there. I lose you when my heart is heavy, my mouth is silent and my eyes speak a language only you could understand. Or when I'm standing in the middle of platte, deciphering the clouds alone. I lose you on the empty roof top with a sky full of stars above me. I lose you on the hard days and on the easy ones. I lose you when I'm drunk and just want somebody to listen to me talk. I lose you in every memory, every funny joke I hear & every new person I meet. I lose you at 3 a.m when it all becomes too much and the bathroom floor feels lonely. I lose you in everything I do. Thank god for me finding myself while I was busy looking for you.