wax wings

Un·der·state·ment

The false truth lies behind the tongue

The words you speak are hollow

The way you present yourself is fake

I was always told when you have wax wings and fly too high they start to melt

You can’t fake your true self

Tho hatred and doubt have become apart of who i am

Covering it up is a crime

Are you scared? That when people understand you they will run?

Because i am

If my appearance changes will people change their love for me?

I am scared that people who laugh with me will start laughing at me

With backs turned to me

I still feel accepted

Yet when people close their eyes i still feel seen

Searching for attention from myself

I feel  like a hostage to my own doubt

Maybe i miss the illusion of myself being happy

I feel like i am distancing myself from everyone

Including myself

I am tired of having wax wings

I am tired of being two different people

I want to break free of my own lies

I am not happy with myself

I honestly want to scream

I want to drink and get high

But i drown myself in false happiness in fear of trouble

I blame myself for everything that has ever gone wrong

I ruined so many laughs and good times

I have ruined every relationship

And broke every promise

I am disgusting

My soul is paper and i am playing with fire for fun

I run everyone out of my life

Because i am scared

I am scared everyone i think is true

Well i am scared they will leave me too

They will hate my wax wings

They will hate me like i hate me

I have made choices i was suppose to avoid

I have made mistakes

I hate myself for those things

I am falling apart

My wax wings are melting

And i am screaming in fear

Please save me from myself

Don’t let me burn

Don’t let me melt away

I am melting...