#143-I Live Through Pain

I'm not a cutter for no reason,
I don't do it for attention,
I don't do it to die,
And I don't do it,
Because I want people to feel sorry for me.
I do it because I feel like I deserve it...
I do it because, if I don't,
I can't feel anything.
I want to feel alive,
And I live through pain.
To know I'm alive,
I need to feel pain,
Or else I'm just numb...

My Ladies tell me cutting is cathartic
The sheer pleasure of feeling the blood flow
Seeing the blood flow ~ smelling the blood flow
And tasting the blood. I have been with Ladies
Just after they have cut they are in a 7th Heaven
Laughing and crying and on a sensual high
Much higher than I could ever pleasure them to !
A pork sword is much too blunt to compete with a scalpel

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