DezyraSatyre

Blood Solace in a Eulogy

Did you mean what you would say to me?

That life is just a memory?

Nothing is as it appears, nor otherwise.

Still wearing your disguise.

That pillow, they couldn't pry from these cold stiff limbs.

The spots are what kept my sanity.

Red, Vibrant... as you once lived.

And you'd say, ' take this and tear it far away from me'

but didn't you ever know...

this life is but a dream...

I can still feel your heartbeat, but can no longer hear your voice. 

Carried by you, Nurtured by you, my mother, my friend..

Are you certain this is how it will end?

I've got pillowcases with your blood and one single karate ring.

You are the voice that has been calling me but now..

Conspiring in your madness, I now question myself.

Echoing til I no longer can breathe.

Memories painted as a scene.

I need you to know, I'll never let go... I hope that's what you wished

I do hope that is okay.

There is always a way.

Now as I sit here in a four cornered room,

Reaching out for you're acknowledgement , your apprehension,

that your life would be here til this day as the spectrum holds you- by wil alone.

Without you I would never have defied the weight.

without you I would of never of learned to appreciate.

I am .. YOU.. as I found solace in blood that day,

and these memories now never fade.

 

Comments4

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    WELCOME DEZYRA ~ Thank you for a very powerful first poem and visual. My relationship with my mother is very strong so I can empathize with the underling message of your poem. I owe my life to my mother as do you and if she is no longer with you I can understand the essence of your agony. I find this poem very moving ~ I trust you found it cathartic. Thanks for caring and sharing ~ Yours BRIAN

    • DezyraSatyre

      The foundation was, back in 2001, she committed suicide... I saw her devastation everyday as she was a cutter as well as the terrible agony she felt inside. As I typed this up last night, 15 years later, I had a final message. It is a positive one.
      Thank you kindly for your feedback and kind words . Many good thank yous.

      • BRIAN & ANGELA

        Thanks DEZYRA ~ Writing poetry is cathartic and I trust we shared some of you prolonged agony with you ~ I felt you pain. Thanks for being my FRIEND ~ yours BRIAN

      • Jeff

        Great write...very well done

      • Jason Vancelette (AKA Pharaoh33)

        Absolutely stunning piece of literary genius here hun...seriously ...Please, I would like to welcome you here to this site personally. I only started publishing my work here recently...have about 45 or so please read my work and comment at your leisure..I have a hunch that it will be to your interest... your work reminds me of much of my earlier stuff...so I am going to request your friendship and I look forward to reading more ..take care and keep writing!!

        • DezyraSatyre

          Many good thank yous!
          I will add you as a friend and come across and read some of yours as well.
          Looking forward to it.

          • Jason Vancelette (AKA Pharaoh33)

            That TITLE is spectacular.....I cant get over it ..lol

          • 1 more comment

          • P.X. Vexxus

            This poem tells a tale, of sorrow and grief. But within the poem, you found yourself, within the mother you lost. Keep your head held high, and your emotions strong. Nothing will tear you down. I really liked the poem, the title caught my eye. I try to read everything posted everyday, so i can grow and learn from my mistakes. I hope to see another of yours someday.

            • DezyraSatyre

              You speak in beauty. I will indeed be pondering on your page. A lesson of many she did unfold. For this I cherish. Thank you for your kind words.

              • P.X. Vexxus

                The community on this site will breathe life into your emotions. It will ease your pain, enlighten your happiness. I'll be sure to read your future poems, for sharing your heart weaves tales of beauty and awe.



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