There is a boy among the stars
lost in his head
among his thoughts
envious of the dead;
the blessed to rot
in his head
at war with the thoughts
until one day
still in the fight
out of the blue emerges a light
blinded he decides
to follow the light
it leads him away from the fight
at last the war is done
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Author:
J.S.E (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: October 14th, 2016 14:48
- Comment from author about the poem: First poem I've written. In my opinion it's terrible and it doesn't even rhyme but I want other people's opinions.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 22
Offline)
Comments2
Welcome TH ~ Thanks for your first poem . It is a well presented Modern Poem ~ one continuous unpunctuated sentence but with logical lines (not continuous prose) I like that ~ it looks like a poem. There is rhyme ~ despite your denial ~ it is acceptable in Modern Poetry ! Lines 2 4 6 rhyme as do lines 9 10 12 13. This gives the poem rhythm and flow and makes it easier to recite. I am a performance poet. Also because it has 14 lines it can also be classed as a "Free Verse Sonnet with irregular meter". Love the message ~ it is a good poem ! Thanks for sharing ~ BRIAN. Please check my poems ~ Thanks
I found it to be a wonderful write, loved it very much
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