How I Allowed Myself To Be Destroyed

Why did you do this?

You made me feel so good but

So wrong at the same time

Until I associated myself with;

The discomfort of other people

And the guilt that comes with my presence

You treated me like poison that you could resist

And I believed it.          

I was unbreakable

So I instead I broke everything around me

The poison soaked out into my body and onto everything I didn’t know I needed

You broke me by letting me believe it was the right thing for you to disappear

And never make me feel so powerful again

Before I could find a way to put myself back together,

Before I could ask you for help

You had gone

Erased yourself and all the guilt you felt for allowing me

To make you happy

And this is why I will not come close again

Because they will leave

Like the wind blows great trees down

I was tall and strong

You have uprooted everything

As the trees do when they fall

I cause only destruction and pain

I am guilty