Confusion

littlegoat23

I feel binded and it's all my fault.

I have done this to myself, made this my default.

To be a ball of anxiety, who curls in a ball not knowing what to do,

but always seems to find the one option I normally choose.

Then the cycle continues.

I will lift myself up and start going down the other path, until something bad happens.

Then I retreat back to the old habits.

I'm getting tired, but then I look forward to the future,

all the things I still have yet to accomplish.

I have ideas of how I will get there, the wait is what I am terrified of.

and in my mind that does seem selfish.

Yes I feel weighted down with the onslaught of pain that has presented itself to me.

But that doesnt mean I should give up on everyone who wants to see

me through this disaster that has wrecked my life.

I wonder why people act like this is all my fault, I mean I know I have made some rather shitty choices.

 

But I do not choose to be sad all the time..sometimes I just am,

and believe me I try to make myself happy.

because I do not want everything to be depressing and crappy. 

I would much rather be laughing with my head held high.

Regretfully sometimes this choice isn't mine.

so I just tell myself everyday I just have to make it until I can go to sleep.

maybe soon this won't be my reality, or everything won't seem so bleak.

 

  • Author: littlegoat23 (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 13th, 2016 19:11
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 37
  • User favorite of this poem: AlitaOpal.
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Comments3

  • AlitaOpal

    Thank you for your beautiful master piece. It seems as if though your poem was about me.. What a phenomena..
    Thank you x

    • littlegoat23

      Lol glad to help out c:

    • ron parrish aka wordman

      life is full of choices,we can`t always chose the right path,but when we see it`s wrong we must have the courage to change...

      • littlegoat23

        I'm trying and won't give up

      • Christina8

        Thank you for sharing, sometimes these help others. Great piece!

        • littlegoat23

          No problem and that's why I publish my poems. I want to help others and let them know they aren't alone c:



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