Disarmed

Every fucking time I start to let my mind drift into thought processes, it always floats like a little love cloud over an image of his face

Why is he all that I can see?

There are so many out there for me to love

Nobody seems to fit like a glove like he does

I would love for someone new to come sweep me up off of my feet

The heat of desire is killing me

I'm not sorry, for I have never changed

It is a bit strange to me that he had such a sudden turn of heart

He does this every damned time

He  makes me want to beg him

At least for valid reasons for tormenting me so

He thinks he knows me so well

He's right

and he's wrong

All at the same time

I have done nothing to deserve this lingering pain

I beg God to send down the rain from the Heavens

To cleanse me of this blockage

To make me pure

To find a way to make him pay without him being harmed

My weaponry I have disarmed when it comes to love

For, peace is the only answer

Forgiveness is a given with me

It is almost as though he went out of his way to start a feud that neither of us could ever win

A spinning bottle I have become

Bounding through the minutes of life like they are nothing to me

It's next to impossible for me to move forward when all that I can see is what's being left behind

Painting pictures with the power of my mind

Writing words that will echo throughout the boundaries of time

Creating incidents that have yet to find me using what lessons I have bothered to learn

Burning away anything that happens to be leftover

Fire is a cleanser

A blessing

A gift

Lifting myself up from where he threw me down and around for a couple of loops

This is my time

To power up

To get strong

To re-group from the wreckage of the blast

I will rise

I will succeed

I will conquer my need to be loved....

11/20/2016