some people are noticed,
but never seen.
some people are seen,
but never noticed.
I, am neither, I am but a shadow in the distance.
I, am there but no-one sees, no-one notices.
I, am a background figure, in the distance of my thoughts.
braking out of my own imagination.
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Author:
BethaneyLouise (
Offline) - Published: November 29th, 2016 13:49
- Comment from author about the poem: This is the first poem that I have wrote in so much depth before, I hope for some helpful comments on how to improve if needed.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 44
Offline)
Comments3
WELCOME BETHANEY (lovely name ~ lovely picture) Thanks for a very elegant first poem in both structure and subject ! It has great rhythm (modern poems do not have to rhyme !) It poses an interesting juxtaposition of existence and non~existence. I like the concept of the last line "Breaking out of my own imagination" excellent. Thanks for sharing ~ more please ~ YOURS BRIAN !
thankyou greatly for your comment, much appreciated.
I think this is a well written and expressed piece. Since most of us are writing to express thoughts and feelings I do not think any of us need improvement. I don't see it as right or wrong but more so whether we feel can convey a message, you have done that well.
why thankyou, much appreciated
Write from the heart
speak from the heart
Great write
thankyou
Welcome
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