What if?

Tris Eaton

What if I was the bad kid?
What if I was not the one who cared?
What if I had scars wrapped around my wrists?
What would you say then?

What if I didn't have any compassion?
What if I had no initiative?
What if you could see every bone in my body?
Who would try to help?

What if I didn't want to be me?
What if I didn't want to exist?
What if I'm not afraid of death?
What would you do if I told you?

How would you feel in my shoes?
When it feels like the world is crashing in?
What if you were crying because of it?
What would you do?

How do you handle this?
All this change and all this hurt?
What if it felt like everything was slipping from your control?
How would you feel?

I want you to think....
That maybe I'm not like you...
Maybe I'm not as tough...
Maybe I can't handle what you can...

Think... Just think...
That maybe this hurts more than ever,
More than every death
And I can't make it stop...

I don't want to die...
I don't want to hurt everyone else...
I only stop for others...
Not for myself

Maybe it wouldn't be bad to be selfish...
But I can't...
Other people have worse and are still calm...
But yet I'm lying here with tears rolling down my face...

I... I hate this!
Every little bit
Yet there is a flash of light
This little flash that won't let me drown

It may come from different sources each time...
But it is there and it is definitely real
Is it God?
Is it a little hope from a friend?

I don't know
Whatever it is
It keeps me here
I don't want to go but there is always...

What if?

  • Author: Tris Eaton (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 1st, 2016 15:32
  • Comment from author about the poem: I'm realizing that pain is one of the very good inspirations. I mainly draw and express myself through that, but while having a mental breakdown because life changes and I'm not OK with that, I was actually able to express myself some. I realized that this is probably the best thing I have written in my life so I figured I would share it. I hope you like it.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 21
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    WOW LUCI ~ Thanks for sharing an awesome first poem cram full with WHAT IFS ! We are a very caring site and we all empathise with you ~ I'm 33 still growing up but I was a confused teenager 20 years ago ! There is a GOD and on MPS we are all Friends and there are some posts parallel wit yours ~ Every BLESSING ~ Your Friend on MPS BRIAN

    • Tris Eaton

      Thank you. I am glad you like my poem. I never really thought I was good, but this came up and I decided it was good enough for this website. I appreciate your support ☺

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