I wonder what it is like to breathe
Them visible puffs in the cold we see
Yet the darkness fills my lungs
And all that is heard is a faint beep being sung.
Friends come to visit,
Your pain? They wish they could have killed it
Before you did yourself
So we could see your happiness excel.
But it's too late.
Tears and screams from your mother
A cracked voice from your father
This wasn't what you had planned
Their smiles were meant to expand
But instead they were diminished.
"The voices told me to",
But we never did such a thing.
You did this,
You did this.
You did this!
We were merely just a contribution,
And one no one will believe you about.
-
Author:
G (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: December 4th, 2016 05:44
- Comment from author about the poem: Recently, in my English Language class we were study a section of a book called "The Lovely Bones" which begins with the obscurity of the narrator being dead. It inspired me to do something similar! - I have only just started writing my own poems and I'm studying my GCSEs so apologies if they're not too great!
- Category: Sad
- Views: 56
Offline)
Comments4
Wow this is super, u write well at your young age. The rhyme scheme is excellent. Fine poetic musing , and metaphors too.
U r most welcome to comment under my latest poem too . I'm quite a new poet here but have been writing poetry since years and readers enjoyed it elsewhere or got sth from it. Pls don't forget to comment.
Hello!! Thank you!! That means so much and I sure will!
Have a good day! 🙂
WELCOME GEM ~ You always need inspiration for a poem and you ure got yours ! Dying can be painful (I was once pulled fro a wimming pool and had to be pumped out) ~ we can only last about 3 minutes without breathing. You have captured the feeling well. Thanks for sharing ~ Yours BRIAN
Hello! I can't believe that happened and as long as you are here that's the good thing! I've never really lost anyone (or at an age where I know what emotions to feel) so this was kind of like a "what do I write about, let's hope for the best!" But I am glad you like it!
Have a good day! 🙂
- Gem
Very nice first write...excellent work
Thank you! Have a good day! 🙂
-Gem
this is great!!!! it is painfully sad, yes, but it also shows how deep writing can be
Hello!
Thank you! I am kind of inexperienced with the whole writing thing and also the topic this is on, but there's nothing like challenging yourself!
I am glad you like it!
Have a good day! 🙂
- Gem
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