The Lady Weeps

Pouring Diet Dr. Pepper down the drain

I hear the syrup hit the basin,

Smell the earthy, unearthly odors

As over and over in my head my responsibilities

Play endlessly, making my knees jerk

And my mind to go to suicide as relief

But I am conflicted by a little gorilla

Who now lives on my desk and reminds me

Of the warmness of the people surrounding me

It compels me to search my own soul to find this warmth

This warmth that I seek, hold myself

As I want others to hold me

To relieve my coarse, malformed heart of its own judgement

I can smell the blood in my nose

Dr. Pepper smells strongly

I can hear the woman cry

"I can't go on like this"

You and I the same

I want to love, yet I am so lonely

So unpersonable, so unsociable

So inept and so uncomfortable

I panic and I shout, I see past the screen

Into my own reflection

And upon further inspection, I see a twisted man

Who still doesn't know what he's doing

So weak of mind, body; constitution

Of runny stool; hurts just as much too

To think of all my mistakes

To ponder every wasted day

To describe my totality of experience

From concrete to ethereal

The hell I'm in is more than real

Look at the infantile man who plays too many video games

Can't talk to anyone yet desires the connection and contact

They fight and they cry but at least they are alive inside

Our boy moans but does nothing because the fear has him in its clutches