Epiphany

LIGHT WARRIOR


Notice of absence from LIGHT WARRIOR
I am currently working on more light hearted work after a wonderful year of change . God bless you all..

Once again

I must pack up my bags

Collect empty brown boxes

Waste precious money on rolls of sealing tape

Again, I have no other choice then to find a whole new way to escape

All of my options are completely open

But, they wait for me to say something that they should have already said

What, exactly, is this force that always shifts me around?

Why can't I ever stay put?

I can't do it all alone again

With virtually nothing

On foot

No place to call my home

Roaming, aimlessly

No

God No

I refuse to do it again

We are going to have to backtrack this shit and simply start over from the plateau we were on back then

When all that we could see was each other

This time, I'm not his mentor

I'm not his teacher

I'm not his fucking mother

We both deserve the chance to be in love again

I have always known that our time would finally come

I have been a spaced-out dumb fuck

I have not thought to save a single dime

I never have any extras, how could have I?

I do not deserve to be put like a stray cat out in the freezing Winter cold

I have not committed any violent crimes

I look forward to happier days and much better times

I already have in the recent month or more that has most recently passed  with him

Without him

With others

He has told me the same about them and with his dip shit closet case pussy monger buddies

There have been blissful tears that well up in his eyes

Feelings that I could see on his face

He didn't have to speak a word

I do wish that he would say nice things to me more often

The place that I should next call home should be more obvious even then it is to me

His hints only drive me crazier

Crazier in love, that is

I long to hear him just spit it out

For him to sit me down and tell me softly that he would love for me to be his again

I know that is hard for him to settle down because I am the same way

It gives me anxiety

I am not into bondage

When we are both alone for too long, it brings us down

Now, he tries to say honestly that it is good for him

Honestly, how long has it even been?

Not even a month and I have spent the night there twice already

He told me on the 2nd night that he just had an epiphany earlier that day

He said that I will be there with him twenty five years from now

That I will be a grouchy old nag

My little time traveler

I don't want him to get scared of me already

But, where else makes more sense for me to go?

I just wish he would tell me

Just let me fucking know already

I want him to be happy to have me there...

10/22/2016

 

  • Author: LIGHT WARRIOR (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 7th, 2016 14:03
  • Comment from author about the poem: As it turns out, he finally alls me up the other night...after blowing me off completely for over 2 weeks and tells me that he has completely fucked himself...his nasty old man friend from Denver is still there. He was supposed to find his own place after one week...he paid the rent through December....and He is still 300 dollars in the hole....I new that the old pig was going to pull that,,,He seems to not remember that I told him this ...If He would have told me, everything would be perfect now...I ant move in, I cant give him money..and I would never give it to him even if I had it because obviously that is the only reason why I would have been there...So, I guess he would rather live with a 70 year old meth addict on disability who is as queer as a three dollar bill...(BUT THEY DONT HAVE SEX) BULLSHIT.....what idiot would spend all his money on a platonic friend....I cant believe he is so dillusional that he thinks I would help him now...I cant even help myself....so, hes going to have to go bac and live with his Mother, until IM READY...LOL this scenario is almost hilarious...I don't even want to live with him now....But I still am coepletely in love with this fucking brat....my love life is soooo crazy..thats only the half of it....to be continued on future publications....
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 68
  • User favorite of this poem: Natalie Chew.
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Comments4

  • Tony36

    Great write

    • LIGHT WARRIOR

      Thank you...I always appreciate your dedication and continued enjoyment in my work...

      • Tony36

        Welcome

      • notapoet

        Another great write P33, keep em coming!

      • Natalie Chew

        I can relate to this poem. Good work!!

        • LIGHT WARRIOR

          Thank you very much Natalie...this must be the first one of mine you have read...please read my manuscript...I have 80 or more published....This piece is very special to me..just apart of what I am going through recently and now...Its so hard juggling love with responsibilities and self advancement in anyway...it seems like I can only deal with one or another , not both separately...I say separately because there is distance between he and I now...It is much easier once you settle down with someone...I am tired of being by myself personally, but I keep going back to the same 3 guys and I know that I need to find someone new or date at least...or just not at all....lol I dunno...thank you for your kind words and I am glad you could relate to it...take care

        • Augustus

          You are so in the moment, really living every moment of your life and having every emotion humanly possible plus some feelings on some ethereal plane.



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