On the inside

What do they call it?
Anxiety? Yes, that's it.
When your mind silently screams inside.
You could implode at any moment and only you can feel the war raging inside.

People don't understand they always say 'get over it' but you can't.
How can you get over something you can't control.
Something you don't even understand, you don't understand why your panicking but you feel trapped.
You don't understand why it would happen in the first place.

Your mind is your prison and your smile is your disguise.
Sometimes, you can't hide it with your smile so you hide yourself in the dark.
Maybe if I just sit here long enough it will end.
It never does.
You sit there mind raging, body shaking, tears streaming and you can't find a reason why.
People ask 'are you okay' you smile and nod I'm just tired, I'm having a rough day.

Your heart breaking, mind splitting body dying.
You smile and laugh yet fear in your eyes.
What if someone's sees me? What if they know?
You keep your face downcast can't look them in the eye.
The war rages on in your mind and you, well you remain that fine example hidden perfectly from the word.
Your words are full to other but empty to you because you remain silent about what's really there.

Always silent, always smiling, always screaming on the inside.