broken

bro·ken

a single tear fell out of my eyes

i felt his fingers tracing part of my body that embarrass’ me to admit

i cried out for someone to help me

i was alone in that wash facing fears of not only being hurt but facing the fear of myself

myself in terms of changing who i was to impress a boy

for what?

to be pained with these feelings of anger and fear

it just keeps replaying in my head like a broken record

like a shattered memory

like a sharp pain in the right side of my brain

a rush of emotions buried inside me

trying to get away

screaming no

chills run up my spine

my skin becomes ill

my body becomes sick and tired

my mind became fearful of the future

“please don’t” the only words he listen to

already inside me

i can feel it on my chin and my lips

sometimes the thought attacks me along with the feeling on my chin

catching my breathe

the feeling is much like water filling lungs

i can still see his face when he was on top of me

saying those words

repeating those words

mind growing numb to the sound of screams

dreams of something greater seems to slowly melt into nothing

the desire of leaving and running turns into a oblivion

back arches

nervously pushes him off

prey

i am prey to him

his eyes

his eyes are unlike i’ve ever seen

his eyes suffocated me

in all of the hell in his completion

the thoughts drown out the sounds coming from his mouth

the feeling of his hands grabbing my hips and dragging me against the sand and forcing me …

ugh

the image replays in my mind

looking down at my feet

covered in dirt

eyes start to cry

wiping my tears and gathering my thoughts i crumble

understanding what he did to my body requires a shower

this all went wrong, how did i end up where i stand

in a wash, bruised, broken, fearful, pained, i don’t understand how i got here!