All for you

As a child, I always believed what I was told

Fictional characters alive, heavens for pets

All those little things that would make a little girl happy

But after those things faded, different beliefs formed

Ever since I was seven, I started dreaming

Dreaming things I wished were true

I held a gun up to my brother

His eyes pleading not guilty

But I knew of his facade

His presence was my living hell

But he never did care, did he?

Only saying sorry, when he was on verge of death

His eyes locked on my finger on the trigger

And he whimpered, I liked this, quite a lot

"Do it again." And so he did

I moved the barrel to his neck, and whispered

"Remember when you pushed me down the stairs?

I was unconscience for three days.

Remember when you slapped me?

And told me to stay out of your life?"

I looked at his trembling figure, and I laughed

I stayed up nights dreaming about how one day

I would sink a knife into my chest, but then...

Why not yours? This was your fault, was it not?

I thought about how I would tell you your sins

Then turn this gun, and shoot my heart

Then I realize, I wouldn't be able to watch you

Watch you suffer, watch the sadness, as you understand. This was you.

Instead, I'll get to live, but don't you worry, dear brother

I will see you in hell, and I'll do it all over again

It's too bad the red flames of limbo, burn the ropes

So I'll make it fast, a shame you couldn't do that for me.