Stuck

I'm Stuck

Stuck here between two paths

Two decisions

I can only make one

But which?

Which should I choose?

Someone will be unhappy in each

Each time I imagine it

Someone gets hurt

And it always includes me

Why do life changing decisions have to be so difficult?

Why can't I just be happy

With no one questioning me

Because no one tells me the same things

And I'm left wondering

I shouldn't be stuck here

This shouldn't be this hard

I shouldn't have to choose between these decisions

I'm too young to deal with this

Why do I have to stress over this so much?!

It's not like anyone will be honest

They don't want to tell me what they really think

They don't want to hurt me

They fear they will hurt me

I will be hurting either way

I do have fears

Some petty, yes

But this is not petty in my opinion

I fear the future

I fear all of the "what ifs"

The "what ifs" of life

Because I know what goes around comes around

And I don't want to get stabbed

Stabbed in the back

By a knife that I threw

I just want to be in my own bubble

Where everything can be happy

I fear life is going back to the hell it was before

Maybe slightly worse

Depending on my choice

I want it to go quickly

Like ripping off a band-aid

But I know it won't be that simple

Nothing ever is

All pain has to linger

No matter what I choose

I'm sure I'll get myself hurt

No matter what I think of

Every time someone gets hurt

More people than just me

I don't want others to hurt

It will cause me more pain than just my own

It would break my heart more

More than I know this decision might

"Might" what a useful word

I wish I could control

How I feel and how things will affect me

What a world that would be...

If I could find a way to walk away happy

I would

I can't

I know it

There is too much untold information

Very very important information

That I am worried will be taken badly

Why can't this be easier

No pain

No fear

No body left unhappy

Just peace...