Behind these deep, dark blue eyes
Is nothing but a sea of cries
And this smile only serves to hide
All the anguish deep inside
Can’t someone take this pain away?
Must I relive it every day?
You may think I’m in my element
But I can’t resist both wind and tide
I’m just creating more skeletons
The pressure around is too intense
No matter how far I run and hide
The torment suffered is too immense
And day by day the challenge grows
To live despite my new sorrows
The candle burns, its wick draws thin
Temptation begs me to give in
Won’t someone take this pain away?
Must I relive it every day?
You may think I’m in my element
But I can’t resist both wind and tide
I’m just creating more skeletons
The pressure around is too intense
No matter how far I run and hide
The torment suffered is too immense
And hard I try and harder still
But just as quick I lose the will
I start to falter, lose my way
And before I know it, it’s too late
I've gone and created more skeletons
Why wouldn’t you take the pain away?
Am I doomed to relive it every day?
Copyright © SabreLi
-
Author:
SabreLi (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: December 22nd, 2016 17:08
- Comment from author about the poem: This is about how someone hides their inner demons so well that others around think they are coping fine even though elements are crushing them from all angles; and in hiding their sadness instead of challenging it they only create more powerful demons, and so it goes in a vicious circle.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 32
Offline)
Comments9
Great poem! I love the deeper meaning and feelings to it.
Thanks Hopey! Glad you like it xx
Thanks SABRE for a very challenging poem. I work with Young People and it takes a lot of 1:1 TLC to get a tortured person back on higher ground ! The methods used to relieve the PAIN ~ self harming ~ drugs ~ alcohol etc are often more damaging than the PAIN itself. Thanks for caring & sharing ~ Hugs BRIAN XOX
Thanks for the unwavering support Brian, not only for myself in my writing, but for the people you help on a daily basis. As mentioned previosuly, I too work with people who suffer and so see every day the original damage - and the aftermath or trying to ignore it rather than face it xx
I feel frustration in this. I would want to help them, but know that I could only go as far as they might let me. And, finally, maybe just give up because they might still insist that all is well, not admitting that inside they are drowning. This poem makes me think of people I know. Very compelling poem.
Very perceptive, WBL. You're right. As much as people who are close to the individual may want to help, they can only do so much for the person if they are unwilling, or unable, both to let you in and to help themselves. I'm happy you took something from it, thank you 🙂 xx
I very much did. Thanks for making me remember😌
This is reminiscent of song lyrics. It fades away into the background, repeating the refrain as it ends. This musical beauty carries the deep sadness in this poem, lifts it up, and garnishes it with a sprinkle of sorrow, remorse, and frustration that one's very attempts to break with their fate result only more of the same.
Thank you for this.
Your meter and rhyme scheme are consistent, so much as any I have seen on this site, and such as it is, this is one of the greater poems I have encountered here on Mypoeticside. I think you'll do well here- please keep writing. No writer is ever done improving their writing, as what we write is but an extension of ourselves, and one truly never stops living, learning, loving, and leaving it all behind so long as they draw breath.
I'm so glad you mentioned song/lyrics - this is frequently an aim of mine and am very proud when it comes off. It's sometimes difficult to turn such sadness into something less miserable, I truly appreciate not only your taking the time to read, but for your brilliant feedback as well. Such compliments always push people to strive for more and I will continue to write and post. Thank you so much for your kind words! xx
The photo of the enormous waves is the perfect backdrop for this poem of tears, anguish and intense pressure.
Thank you, A, for the valued comment! xx
What can I say that has not already been said. The wonderful imagery brings this poem to life, absolutely brilliant!
Thanks Daniel 😀 I'm really happy that you continue to read and comment, thanks for your kindness! xx
As with Daniel what more can be said but bravo on an amazing piece of poetry! Well done SabreLi....
Thanks NAP! I really appreciate all the kind words and support - take care! xx
i love this more than i can say, this has been my exact torment for pretty much my entire life. I love the way you express everything, hopefully one day i get this good.
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