Left Behind

EmmaR1

Left behind

 

Outside the leaves crunch beneath my feet

The wind whispers in my ear as the cold wraps around me in the air

 

It's dark but I can see

I listen to everything

As they seem to echo in the emptiness beside me

Where you once stood by my side

So I listen

To the cars and crickets

And the whispers that aren't really there

 

It's quiet but so loud

How would I not hear

How could I let you slip between my fingers like water

How could I not hear your cry for help

Because silence is the loudest scream

All the signs were there

You just did too well covering them up

 

The look in your eyes

Is like a million stars in the night sky `

I could stare at them all day

And  listen to you talk

 

I thought I knew everything

When really I knew nothing

 

Butt you let me believe you were ok

When we both knew I could save you

But it's ok

I forgive you because I know you tried

And I know your pain was to much to bear alone

And you felt as though you had to hold the whole world on your shoulders

 

I listen before

But not too  closely enough

And know it's all I do is listen

 

Perhaps that in honor of you

I should say I'm sorry it had to be you

And  then move on

But here is no moving on from this

Because when you left

You took a piece of me with you

And i’m so sorry I couldn’t reach you until it was too late to turn back

 

I never heard you coming

Then out of the blue

And you broke me

When neither of us knew

 

And now i’m afraid of forgetting you

But you can never forget someone who gave you so much to remember

I guess it’s true

You never know what you have until it’s gone

 

How could it be they ask

When they're the ones who made us realize it would never work

Because of them

No matter how hard I tried

 

So I may be wrong

But I don’t think they have the right to be upset

Because they never knew you like I did

They were the ones who set us off track

And I don’t have to wonder what you would say about it



Even if I was the only one

Who really listened and cared

It never worked

And it never would have

 

So I hang my head in silence

If only I had known

If only you had trusted me

I could have seen the signs

I choose not to

 

Sometimes I half expect you to show up

And I can still picture you in places



And so I was the one who was left behind

But neither of us are to blame

And even if you only left us with a fraction of your pain

We are both victims

Of a horrid crime

That took the life that mattered most

And left us all alone

 

I just hope you know

That wherever you go

I will always love you

And that if I had known it was this bad

I would have traded lives

 

So I walk alone

A blank stare on my face

Because I knew and should have known

Now it's emptiness

Silence

As I walk among the leaves

Hoping you would never have to leave
















  • Author: Emily (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 24th, 2016 14:47
  • Category: Friendship
  • Views: 1667
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Comments2

  • willyweed

    This is very heartfelt and sad but it is well crafted and moving, good expression of the pain of loss. ww

  • EmmaR1

    Thank you! The funny thing is that I came up with this while sitting in traffic and could not get it out if my head. Although I did not know at the time this turned out to be a support system for several of my friends who have lost someone to suicide. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm glad it helped them as well. My goal in my writing is to see the world as it really is while putting a smile on people's faces.



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