The Tigress

For all my skill with words
You render me speechless
For all my prowess with paint
You make my brushes disappear
For all my talent with song
You steal away my breath. 

Because around you, 
words are useless
and I am speechless. 

Immaculately clothed and groomed, 
I have the grace of a tigress stalking her prey. 
This game we play is dangerous
We walk upon a knife's edge, 
pushing and pulling at each other. 
Sometimes it is you who plays the lion, 
and I, the antelope. 
And sometimes I am the tigress
and you are the deer. 

For all my skill in toying with words
and twisting them to fit my purposes, 
I have yet to find the words
that describe what you mean to me. 
There is no earthly comparison I can use
to do justice to the feelings that well up inside me. 

I am dangerous, you knew that from the start. 
You knew my tendency to walk a tainted path, 
leaving behind me a trail of bodies, 
no survivors in my wake. 
You knew my love of the hunt, 
my craving of the exhilaration of the chase. 
You knew my reluctance to love, 
my reluctance to be touched, 
my reluctance to be hurt. 
And yet, you still obliged me. 
You obliged my childish love of games, 
and my carnal pleasure in the hunt. 
You tore down my walls
like they were made of cotton
and you were a serrated knife. 
You challenged me
and watched as I rose to the occasion. 
You intrigued me
and watched as I tore into you, 
wanting to understand what makes you tick. 

For the longest time, I never understood. 
I never considered letting you close. 
I never allowed myself to feel. 
I hid myself behind walls of steel and frost. 
And still, you stood beside me. 
I never understood you at all. 
I promised myself that I would never need anyone. 
That I would always be self sufficient. 
That even though you always stood by me,  
you were simply my pawn.
You never questioned my callous treatment, 
my playful games.
And I insisted that I didn't need you. 

But perhaps, you were always what I needed. 
Even when I didn't realize it, 
you were exactly what I needed. 
Someone to stand beside me
A pillar of strength for when I wavered
A partner in the games I play
A pawn on my chessboard
A king in my heart. 

I have always been wild, 
always been a free creature
roaming across her own lands. 
I do what I do for my own pleasures. 
I take and I never give, unless it benefits me. 
I belong to no one and nothing, 
have no roots to put down, 
no motherly urges. 
But you, you are different. 
I delight in being yours. 
And I am yours, just as much as you are mine. 

I am your queen. 
I am your tigress, 
your vixen, 
your she-wolf. 

I was afraid. 
Now, I am not.