berdnt_victoria

You Wonder Why

you wonder why,

I put that razor to my skin?

or why,

I sometimes let my demons win?

 

you don’t think

that maybe its cause,

this pain that I feel,

tears me up deep inside

 

I want the pain,

that I feel all the time,

to be gone,

that’s all I ever asked

 

when you look at me

you see a happy girl

one who always smiles

and always laughs

 

you don’t see

that girl,

that you think I am,

isn’t really me

 

that smile that you see,

is a smile,

I put on,

just to put you at ease

 

and that laugh,

that you hear

is to make you think

that I’m actually happy

 

you start to wonder

what happened to that girl

who you knew,

wasn’t scared or unhappy

 

who would open up to you,

about everything

and wasn’t scared

to tell you whats wrong

 

but now,

that little girl,

that you thought you once knew,

is long gone, far away from you

 

she was scared,

of getting judged

you know,

for just being herself

 

you tell her everyday

that everything will be okay

but she doesn’t believe you

because for her, it never is

 

she tries,

she really does

she tries to get better

but how can she?

 

well,

I guess its time for her,

to say her final goodbye,

to you, forever

 

shes just done

with all this pain

its just to much

for her to even handle

 

shes so sorry

for what she put you through

shes sorry for all the pain

she may have caused you

 

she doesn’t want you,

to be sad about her death

its what she wanted,

don’t you see?

 

she doesn’t fear death

like you think

she craves death

to take away her pain

 

so when she’s gone

don’t go to her grave

because one little smile

was all she needed, to stay

Comments1

  • Christina8

    This is a well written but SAD poem. I just feel for you. I hope it helps to write, and I hope you'll write more and stay with us. Thanks for sharing your poem.--Christina

    • berdnt_victoria

      Thank you :) I'm trying really hard to carry on and with the help of my boyfriend and his mom I'm doing a lot better.

      • Christina8

        That's really good to hear!



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