You Wonder Why

you wonder why,

I put that razor to my skin?

or why,

I sometimes let my demons win?

you don’t think

that maybe its cause,

this pain that I feel,

tears me up deep inside

I want the pain,

that I feel all the time,

to be gone,

that’s all I ever asked

when you look at me

you see a happy girl

one who always smiles

and always laughs

you don’t see

that girl,

that you think I am,

isn’t really me

that smile that you see,

is a smile,

I put on,

just to put you at ease

and that laugh,

that you hear

is to make you think

that I’m actually happy

you start to wonder

what happened to that girl

who you knew,

wasn’t scared or unhappy

who would open up to you,

about everything

and wasn’t scared

to tell you whats wrong

but now,

that little girl,

that you thought you once knew,

is long gone, far away from you

she was scared,

of getting judged

you know,

for just being herself

you tell her everyday

that everything will be okay

but she doesn’t believe you

because for her, it never is

she tries,

she really does

she tries to get better

but how can she?

well,

I guess its time for her,

to say her final goodbye,

to you, forever

shes just done

with all this pain

its just to much

for her to even handle

shes so sorry

for what she put you through

shes sorry for all the pain

she may have caused you

she doesn’t want you,

to be sad about her death

its what she wanted,

don’t you see?

she doesn’t fear death

like you think

she craves death

to take away her pain

so when she’s gone

don’t go to her grave

because one little smile

was all she needed, to stay