idunnoman

my god has this girl told me im ugly

so muddy and ruddy she explained
that i had been so vain
so insane
to have the notion in my brain
to engage,
my god has this girl has told me im ugly.
and felt a fool
and looked a tool,
i turned around
and slumped to the other side of the building,
knowing that i am ugly.

I thought it would be fun to try poetry. Wanted to share and learn about some other people's thoughts on my poem. 

Comments4

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    WELCOME IDM ~ Thanks for your first poem ~ which is quite a challenge. UGLY is a relative term and additionally BEAUTY / UGLINESS is also in the EYE of the Beholder ! Your opening suggests you had been playing RUGBY or are a BUILDER or FARM WORKER when we never look our best. My GF tells me I scrub up well and she always loves me straight out of the SHOWER. There are lots of things we can do to make us "more presentable" so I trust your poem and your own opinion of yourself is a passing phase ! Great pom by the way ! Please check my poems ~ Thanks BRIAN (UK)

  • Tony36

    Great write

  • willyweed

    Welcome to the noodle factory
    idunnoman.! good first crack I like to see another,

  • omgoli

    Great first poem! Just a bit of advice.. Careful about how much rhyme you use, sometimes it can sound like a tongue twister!



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