Spinning

Freedom received again

Bend me over with joy

It's certainly not anything like its cracked up to be

I just don't know what to do with myself now

Besides beating off to porn all high

Anything to keep my spinning mind at ease

Easy, this is not

I bought myself down to poverty

Stupid ass me

Freedom rang its bell high and free

Today, I could see all of the reasons why I loved him

For the times when he was genuine and true

I am through pondering it all now

Subdued for over a year that seemed like a century of abuse

I only hope that a truce can be called between his darkness and mine

It should all have been a divine thing

Instead, it turned into a vicious battle that neither of us could ever hope to win

I don't need any more men to fill my empty hole

Unless I am fading and they offer me a toke off of their little bowl of madness

Sadness always coincides

I often venture into my world within, wherein hides everything that my ego camouflages

Creating mental mirages always

Where God and Satan play croquet and we become nothing but their little toys

Who will be the one that ultimately destroys the missing soul?

We are all just parts of a an infinite whole

All with a goal for gain

The pain drips, flooding out my vision sphere

Catching every tear before they tumble to the ground

Freedom and sorrow co-mingling made my heart see to it that my Spirit was found

Splashing through the mud puddles of questions without answers

Riddles, unsolvable

A heart full of desire is a hard creature to keep fed

Becoming dead to the outside world

Fighting off the truth as people keep trying to walk through my head

It has all already been said but still I continue to wait for the fucking phone to ring

Because, it was all so much more than a little thing

At least it was to me

I just find it hard to believe that we allowed the beast to swallow us....

6/16/2006