Sometimes It Makes Me Wonder

                                 Sometimes It Makes Me Wonder

I'm sitting here

without you near

me 

and it makes me weep bittersweetly

how can I go on without you

what am I going to do without you

damn why did you leave me, your youngest

can I be oh so honest 

You were in so much pain

yet you never let it take you in vain

so with that I wont let your name, sacrifices, and pain go in vain

as I can only substain and obtain 

the strength, courage, and humbleness you constantly taught me to instill and maintain

Sometime It makes Me Wonder

if the words that daddy stabbed you with truly passed your soul

causing your emotions to go numb and take that much of your heart

can cause you as much pain as it did me 

constantly that caused me to leave you behind and with him , is that where you really wanted to be 

with him as he treated you bad constantly 

you was and still is worth more than that and i mean that whole heartedly...

Most importantly....

Sometimes It Makes Me Wonder 

Did you want to leave 

or did you have to leave 

from me 

so I can actually

see how much you really mean to me 

Mommy, can you send me a sign, if you want want me with you in heaven now or should I wait for God patiently...