A Drug

The car ride, the car ride I swear it was a high

I never felt so happy and loved I swore inside.

At first it was just some sparks, but then it became a drug.

A drug that would last and last and last.

I wanted him more than anything,

to a point where I wanted and desperately needed everything.

I tried to be there the most when he needed to talk about his hopes,

I tried to hold him close so he’d know when it came to him I never froze.

It was a drug, his love, our love, it was a drug.

It couldn't be touched without a rush, creating undeniable trust

until a sharp black knife, she with the dark hair clutched,

It ended up killing only me, and just like that

no more were we.

She grabbed with her bare hands his heart away which had become half of mine,

and finished what I had thought the stars aligned.

The missing part of me was once again missing

I begged and begged for him to stay,

he never told me he wanted me to go away.

What went wrong I questioned and questioned every day.

Was it me? Was it me?

I missed him all the time

I thought when he said he loved me it wasn’t a lie.

I cried with tears rolling down my face in anger and terror “please don’t leave,”

All I wanted to know was why, her with the dark hair, and, not me,

while all he wanted was to say goodbye.

I wondered if it was her with the dark hair who had ruined it all by herself

or if she was an excuse to leave me broken inside.

I desperately needed to blame her

So I wouldn’t hate him for all he did, I needed it to be a blur

To being replaced that place I still cannot face.

We were one afraid,

we were one scared,

we once fell in love,

but it was a drug,

and it is he who isn't addicted anymore.

- im still addicted