Looking up
at the night sky
is
supposed
to be a
consolation.
I'm seeing
You're seeing
the same moon
the same moon
the same stars
the same stars
But
Looking up
at the night sky
makes me feel
like I can't
b r e a t h e
because
I know
that while
we see the
same moon
and the
same stars,
it's likely that
we will never
both
see the same
moon
and the same
stars
from the same
perspective.
Looking up
at the night sky
brings me
back down
to earth,
where I have to
remind myself
remind myself
remind myself
is a place
where we
both
reside,
even though it
feels
like we're worlds apart.
-
Author:
Mario (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: March 12th, 2017 12:01
- Category: Love
- Views: 53
Offline)
Comments5
Beautifully written!
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it 😀
Good write.
Thank you very much!
Worlds apart, emotionally or physically? It doesn't matter, they are the same. You could be in the same room and be worlds apart. If it is a separation by physical distance, there is no cure except reunion. From your poem I first believed it to be a physical separation (from how you separated the"same moon same stars"), but your ending said "it feels" and so I feel like it is more emotional. I tell you this so you can determine if it reads as you would want it to. The form you use in this and another of yours that I read is unique and original, using space to amplify the intent of your writing. Well enough from me, An enjoyable write. - Phil A.
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it
As the lines of your poem are separated you are separated from your love. Or perhaps you are wandering if indeed you are both on the same page. Love is very complicated. Enjoyed. The form was unique.
I like that quote. That is a great insight. I guess that is a good explanation for why I use space to emphasize. Thank you very much.
I love this poem especially how it's structured.
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoy it 🙂
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