Written

I've written and re-written these words,

Though I guess you wouldn't know.

I've looked and searched for a reason,

A point to not let you know.

Let you know that I'm broken.

I've dreamed

I've had nightmares about you,

The ones where you say that you forgive me.

Then I wake up and find out

That this is my reality.

Why do you forgive me?

Why do you say that you still love me?

You say that it is not in your nature to hate,

That I am different.

I listen.

Thought I am still contemplating telling you,

Telling you that you also are different.

But I hold my tongue,

Not letting you in,

Though you let me in without a second thought.

I've thought and re-thought what I need to say to you,

But I choke when I need to speak.

So I live life,

With words unspoken,

Thoughts unheard,

And a dream that I will never live out

With you.