trisharene001

Helpless soul

He complained about the bills
because she left him with the furniture
But his words, they kill
He didn't care that he was hurting her

It was always all about him and
He was angry that she had left
But she had to save herself
her whole life's a freaking mess

She cried all the time
Even when she was working
Coworkers talked crap about her
They didn't realize she was hurting

No one ever reached out
Even though they all could see
She's not the bright young woman                               she always used to be

With the exception of one
The only one she could tell
The last person she expected
Her coworker Annabelle

Annabelle could see the same
At least she cared enough to ask
She actually reached out and
Slowly took off my mask

Who would've thought help                                      would come from such a stranger?
She listened to understand and
Tried to warn me of the danger

This kind of relationship
Will only ever get worse
But i was so in love and
I wanted to make it work

They said i was dumb for staying so long
But how could i ever leave
In the worlds eyes
he did no wrong

And i didn't have the heart to speak
About the pain he caused
And the time he held his gun.
I mean don't get me wrong
"you can't blame him he was drunk"

Right??

But what about the times he screamed?                          Just because he had a bad day?                                                              It had nothing to do with me.                                      But really, what was I supposed to say?                

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I would sit there                                                           and I would take it
I mean if he really loved me                                          then how could he just fake it?

It Had to be my fault.
I mean, why else would he do it?
No matter what he did,
I always knew we could get through it

But I was so wrong
he always said he was sorry
he said that he would change and
I didn't have to worry

But i had to be to blame.
But now im so broken and so damaged 
I can't even hear his name
without flashbacks and anxiety
don't even get me started on my panic attacks and sobriety!

I finally grew the courage to leave
it was the hardest thing I'd done
it wasn't easy please believe
I wasn't leaving to have fun

I didn't leave him because i didn't love him
I left him because he didn't love me.                            this kind of life,
Is it really what I need?

That's what the world seem to believe                      there was nothing I could say
to make them understand
without giving him away

So i stayed silent. So silent.
And i harbored all that pain
until it was just too much
And i didn't want to live another day.

But i deserved a better ending.
He destroyed me without consequence
so with one last attempt to save my life                          I finally told my parents

Their expressions dropped.                                          and their hearts literally broke
with every tear running down my face
and with every word i spoke

and they finally understood
why i had become so distant
I didn't want them to see The change in my soul
But how could they have missed it?

so I stopped coming over
I ignored all attempts
they did nothing wrong
but i couldn't let them in

to this disaster i once called home
Devastation covered their faces
so many emotions pouring out
so they met me with their embrace and

I sat there and i just thought                                     how can I let this be?                                                   all the messed up things that                                       he said and did to me?

But what could i even do?
He already spread his lies
and like all drama in this town                                      it spread like raging wildfire

and it wasn't long before my "friends"                        were voicing their opinion's
About a life they knew nothing of
And a nightmare they didn't live in

I had nowhere to go
and no one I could ever trust
there was no Safehaven and
there was no justice

For the once Beautiful soul                                           that he destroyed
but can you really blame him?
With the truth so sad, wouldnt you devise a ploy?

Yeah?

Or would you convince her                                             it's "nobody's business?"
Because that's what he did
when i wanted therapy to fix it

This tragedy is never ending
and my hand is getting tired
maybe next time you hear a rumor
you won't be so quick to buy it

I still hold onto all of my secrets
never said a single word
doesn't that make you sad?
The helpless soul that was never heard?

Comments3

  • Bay

    Powerful story conveyed through beautiful poetry. Each line grips you with so much feeling and emotion. Very well written.

    • trisharene001

      it's the only poem I've written, and I was nervous to know if people could feel it. So thank you very much

    • ron parrish aka wordman

      you are a pro allready

    • Goldfinch60

      Your strength of character flows through this poem. With the words that you have written you have begun to come out of the hell that you have lived through so stay strong and go forward in your life. Good write.



    To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.