i'm sorry i loved you for so long.
i'm sorry i tried to hold onto you although you clearly didn't want me anymore.
you just wanted to be set free, and i think i've finally learned to set you free—not because i wanted to, but because i had to.
the more i loved you, the less i loved myself.
the more i held onto you, the more i lost myself.
although all you ever managed to give me was pain i still loved you. i loved you hard. harder than i've ever loved anyone else.
i had to learn to live without you.
always trying to fill that empty space you left in my heart.
i may not cry about it anymore, but i'm still hurt.
i won't say, but i still feel.
i don't show, but sometimes deep down inside i still care.
oh how i wish you would've just opened your eyes to see that i didn't care about anybody but you, i would've died for you.
our relationship destroyed me.
but my thoughts and the silence when i wasn't thinking destroyed me too.
i grew very tired.
i grew tired of putting in more effort than i received.
i grew tired of holding on for nothing.
i grew tired of believing all your lies.
i grew tired of proving myself wrong every god damn time.
i grew tired of getting my hopes up to be disappointed again.
i grew so god damn tired, but i still managed to love you like i wasn't.
maybe someday you'll miss me like i missed you.
maybe someday you'll love me like i loved you.
maybe someday you'll need me like i needed you.
perhaps one day you'll love me-but i won't love you.
missing you makes me feel stupid because i know i don't even cross your mind.
i'd like to think you haven't fully moved on from me, and that my name is still in your prominent vocabulary.
that you think of me when you see my favorite color or that your heart still skips a beat when they ask about me.
maybe i'm not the only one whose mind wanders back in time over and over again.
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Author:
Lilia Lara (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: April 10th, 2017 11:44
- Comment from author about the poem: i wrote this about somebody who has terribly hurt me.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 80
Offline)
Comments5
welcome good write sorry for your pain writing seems to help so write on. ww
thank you! i do my best work when something like this usually happens.
Oh my! I felt every word of this! Thanks for sharing.
Yeah. That's what it feels like pretty much. It's hard and useless but that's how it is.
That don't deserve us, and we didn't deserve them.
I feel this so much .. I felt your words as they were my own Well done on an amazing write!! X
thank you!!
WELCOME LILIA ~ Thanks for a very poignant first poem ~ it throbs with angst and experience as well as rhythm ! In my own experience the Agony and Ecstasy of love is greater and deeper than adult love ! Because when I was a teen (not too long ago !) my visions and expectations of LOVE were very high and ideal ! I expected my "first real love liaison" to last for ever ! Of course it didn't and I wanted to die ! I recovered and lived to LOVE & LOSE again but this time it was slightly easier ~ it is an inevitable cycle. Thanks for caring and sharing ~ Yours BRIAN Please checks my poems ~ Thanks B
i read some of your work, i really like it. good job
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