The Ocean Of My Mind

Agiel

I'm lost I walk without a destination or purpose
I fight for air but I fail
And slowly I disappear.

I'm swimming in an endless ocean
Every swim is a new pain.
I swim and swim searching for dry land
But dry land sounds like a fairy tale.

All I can feel is pain.
But what is pain? Is it being rejected or humiliated?
Or is it a constant reminder that nothing gets better?
I don't know.. but I keep swimming.. without destination.. lost.

I see land and I feel,
I feel the hope and happiness of finding safe port.
So I swim, I swim hard and hard.
Suddenly the world looks like a good place.

So I swim and swim and when I get there..
There's nothing. I clean the water from my eyes and I see nothing.
What was that? It looked like a ship that was going to rescue me..
But it was nothing but an illusion.. a simple trick of my mind.

I take a deep breath
And the tears start running on my face.
I have no more energy,
So I stop swimming.

I find myself drowning.
With no will to swim,without energy.
I close my eyes and I let the ocean take me, I let it take me to the depths.

I scream for help
But my words disappear on the water.
They turn to meare bubbles that even though they reach the surface,
No one ears or sees them.

And so the ocean takes me
And I, without energy or hope,
I let it take me
For I can no longer swim In the ocean of my mind.

  • Author: Agiel (Offline Offline)
  • Published: April 20th, 2017 07:32
  • Comment from author about the poem: In this poem lays a piece of me and my story. This is how it feels like to fight the urges of self-harm and suicide. And how much it means to have just a little spark of hope in you, and the consequences of when somebody takes it away from you.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 103
  • User favorite of this poem: lost-but-not-broken17.
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Comments2

  • Goldfinch60

    Very good write.

    • Agiel

      Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    • Stella_Suicide

      that is...amazing

      • Agiel

        Thank You! 🙂



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