Back Against the Ground

I lie here on the ground in somewhat of a haven.

I am not safe here.

I am not in danger.

No one is against me.

No one is against me.

 

I think of my problems.

I think of their problems.

I think that they have problems.

We all do.

No one in special in that.

 

I refrain from crying.

I do not know why.

I conclude that I cannot cry.

 

I lie here in silence.

I am calm.

I am saddened.

I cannot speak clearly.

 

I stay here.

I do not show my face.

My face is torn and still.

I am supposed to smile.

I cannot lie.

 

This moment is long.

I am pained and unharmed.

 

I do not listen for long.

Those words are not for my ears.

Those captured are objective.

I did not mean to listen.

 

I am dramatic.

I lie here on the ground

In silence

In fear

In sadness

In incompetence 

In doubt

In pity

In dread

Because I do not want to share.

They want to smile.

They aim to smile.

They work to smile.

They deserve to smile.

I cannot take that away.

 

With every encounter

I am contagious.

I infect them and they hurt.

I should not touch but I do.

I should not touch anymore.

 

No one is against me.

 

I feel alone.

I feel misunderstood.

I feel trapped under the debris.

I am vulnerable.

 

I tore down my walls.

No one asked me to.

I contaminated them.

No one asked me to.

No one wanted this.

This is poor timing.

 

I should keep to myself.