The Raven & The Unicorn

The lights are out in this place where I hang

Socializing via the distance between our mouths and the flickering candlelight

It just makes me realize what I never want to become and know clearly what I never wish to be

Dumber than dumb I have been again

He managed, somehow, to toss me head-first back into his brutal waters just to watch me take a long swim solo

The breast stroke without the bounce back

The pilgrimage with no return

I was on my way to go take him away but I could never find it in me to just get up and go

Then, bam!

Low and behold, he hit me with the last thing I expected to hear at the time

He has suddenly fallen in love with someone else

His telephone calls dwindled down to none, when they were coming in eight to ten times a day

I have a brand new nemesis

A faceless raven that has landed on his back to sway him away from loving me

Calling him his babe (LIKE THAT?)

The tone in his voice changed completely

His sentences became short and then became muffled sounds

I was unable to retort in any way, shape, or form

The storm clouds welled up and settled in to the skies that cradle my soul from above

His existence no longer has the power to shove me over the edge of a cliff in disbelief

They just hang there in my wake, ravenous and wrong

I have already heard this song

I have already seen this dance

There is now more than just a chance of light showers in my immediate forecast

Oh well, I knew that he would somehow make them fall again

My only call of duty in this world now seems to be to remain upright

Standing still and star board against the wall

Watching what was supposed to be my own fate unfolding right before my very eyes

I want him to do what is best for him but my ego denies me to allow it

SO, the defense mechanisms that haunt my mind are unleashed upon the entire ordeal like an abominable hex

Cast out upon the waves of fury that are born  every time I thin of him having sex with someone other than me

Sitting here all numb, in the stench of my stagnancy

It makes me want to kill , to shoot dead his little fuck of a mocking bird

I understand now the benefits of making time come to a stand still

Like putting the program on pause

Only, this is no movie, it is my bitter reality

Time is not linear

Reality is

Nothing will be done without the equivalent karmic debt being paid

Probably why I haven't killed any niggas yet, despite being thrown mercilessly into the shade

His future with his new boy wonder is already set to be destroyed

He is already confused, frustrated, and annoyed

It has gone on and off and on and off again already

Like he is trying to force the flame of love to strike a pose and wants me to help him hold it steady

There is no way anyone will ever be able to muster the strength that it takes to truly love him like I have

Still, I never did succeed

I know that it must not be him that I need

Sitting still in the earliest part of tomorrow morning

Trying desperately to avoid the pull of the night

I need Father Ra to rise and enter me

Granting me my first breath of fresh daylight

I have failed in loving him in so many different ways

I guess that is what I get for chasing after unicorns who have ravens on their back so far away and out of sight

Never again

No way

A chase that ended in the daylight

I may as well let it all go , give them both a fair chance

Live and let live

Love and let love

11/04/2011