dead madness

I’m driven by pain, madness and fear

everything always happens here

the voices come out. they do not cheer

shouting and screaming they do with a sneer

my problem is I claw my skin 

I beg to myself don’t let them in 

but then I hear " you’ll never win "

the horror is it was said with a grin. 

the voices are faceless

completely shapeless

I feel so brainless

completely aimless

the voices are many inside my head

but the sight of them is one I dread 

if I go to the mirror and look ahead

there they all stand, daring me dead

for my reflection is one I can not see

I only see a stranger staring back at me

it makes me sick and go to my knees

I’m sure you would all happily agree

I’m really tired of this here life

don’t pay attention to me and my strife 

solution is to pull out a knife

wish I could do something right

there is another option. but a terrible one 

spend time with that girl, that I’ve already done

but the time that was spent should have been none

if she had any sense, she'd get up and run 

I isolate myself and leave me alone

and put myself in that horrific zone

if madness was rewarded id be on the thrown

but I need to be on my own

all of the voices have something to say 

" Mocuisle your worthless, pathetic don’t stay

you’ll die this night we sit here and pray

fat ugly useless... " please just go away. 

when I handle myself I’m nothing but rough

around other people I try to act tough 

reality is its all just a bluff

so tell me now. am I enough?

there’s only that girl who knows what’s inside

the only person who knows what it is I hide 

who sees the cover known as my pride 

the one who makes me feel wide eyed. 

she’s beautiful, she’s perfect. she’s practically the cure

she’s different she’s everything that I assure

she makes me smile and that’s obscure 

she makes me feel completely secure

but I’m not enough, so she has to go. for the person I am

she cannot endure