Who is this clipped wing climber, clinging, caught in singular thought, exploring the mystery above, mourning morning's misery below, reaching, ascending, life depending---on wit, not to slip, wielding incredible strength of will, risking the untenable, puzzling the skeptical, enlightening the unconscious, baffling the despicable, as he rises higher, exposing not only the path to liberty but the selfishness of sovereign design, denying independence of mind, freedom to climb, to fly only to die an indignant death, devil divined in the dank darkness below. Bows aligned to arrow the ascender, synchronized flights of sharp, steel shafts from skilled archers searching, sighting their mark. Slowed slightly by dodging the salvo battery barrage, soaring upward to plateau, sighing, smiling, scaling the height, surprised at the newly feathered tufted pinions readied for flight in this new dominion of light. Unshackled, armed with choice, whom now to serve?
Augustus / Seasons Hospice, Houston, TX / June 2017
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Author:
Augustus (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: June 1st, 2017 08:24
- Comment from author about the poem: In 1877 Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote The Windhover. I was fascinated with the alliteration, especially the first phrase, "I caught this morning mornings minion kingdom of daylight dauphin, dapple dawn Falcon.........Though I have dabbled in the use of this artful aid I have always wanted to do a poem with alliteration throughout, the singular focus of the poem. While I cannot hold a candle to past masters and many at this site, I enjoyed the challenge. Hope you enjoy.
- Category: Spiritual
- Views: 70
- Users favorite of this poem: kevin browne
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Comments9
A fine write A. Or a f-f-f-fine w-w-w-write! I cheated on the alliterations! heehee.
Smile. Thanks.
I alliterate if I have too much sherry(??). then it's easy. Every S word starts with sh.... e.g. shay shomething shuitable, etc!
A little sherry never hurt. I love it in winter.
Reading the dip into alliteration and assonance you scribed here made my heart sing - - truly a soul-stirring verse which I for one could wish was in print dear Augustus - you have the talent that Hopkins would surely have marked with approval.
When I read it to my wife she cried, thinking it had something to do with my current situation. It did touch her soul. Thanks for the kind remarks.
I, too, am intrigued by alliteration, but have never made the bold, beautiful stab at it like you have here. Great job in accomplishing what you set out to do, Augustus! I'm a bit envious.
I have challenged myself on several levels, to write happy when feeling sad, a sonnet, 2 rhymes/ phrase, on love and hate, nature etc. And sometimes, rarely a whole poem just pops into my brain. Thanks for reading and commenting.
But I has too much sherry (so I says!). Then I'm always shaying shumthing - good acting innit?! heehee. I'm tee-total really, well 99%.
Smile.😁
Well constructed , rock solid , but I enjoyed more the uplifting unification of spirit , body and soul .
Thanks for the interpretation. I indended the battle between good and evil, once ensnared by the devil, the difficulty getting away, but was possible.
Brilliant Augustus
Love it !!!!
Thanks. Just read yours about young love. Kudos.
a genius never really sets out to be a genius but here I think you have captured a genius within your poem Augustus x
I work hard but genius I doubt. But thanks for the response. I do feel I have plateaued here in part for my circumstances and in part, can I do better ?
don't shadow your work with doubt because it speaks for itself. you did magic!
You are so right. Avoid doubt. Stay focused and positive. Thanks.
Alliteration can be mesmerising, I use it it some of my poems but they are not a patch on this fine write. (Or those of GMH)
Thanks for the read and comment. Now I need another challange.
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