Everything but Twice

ummbre

I breathed in and I didn't feel a thing 

When I cry I don't feel anyone 

Even when his skin is against mine I don't feel anything 

...It takes me an hour and a half to get ready

I change my outfit at least 10 times before I leave

I won't leave the house if I don't like my hair or my make up or myself 

I flick the light switches on and off again before I leave the bathroom  

I don't turn the lights in my bedroom on...ever

I think about everything I do at least twice

I think I cry at the small things

I think cry at the small things

I think I hyperventilate at the big things

I think I hyperventilate at the big things

I think I don't feel anything  

I think I don't want to feel anything 

I'd rather be empty then do this 

Everyday I wake up again and again 

I edit myself into someone else

Tear away at my own skin hoping someone else is lying underneath 

Someone better 

Someone smarter

Someone who doesn't care if I am perfect or not 

But even when I rip away at my skin 

Bully myself to the bone

Torture myself into vulnerability 

Think too much 

And fix every mistake 

I think I don't feel anything

 

 

 

 

  • Author: bre (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 11th, 2017 02:39
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 42
  • Users favorite of this poem: HeartfullyFallen
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Comments +

Comments1

  • swingline

    Could it be depression ? I'm no expert that's for sure . Perhaps you are a stoic . One who is lacking any emotional pleasure . A tad bit OCD also . You are probably a person with many different characteristics . Each influencing you in some way . You could diagnos yourself by looking it up . But the main thing is having others accept you for who you are . My girlfriend has all of your symptoms except for unemotional she is overemotional . But that doesn't bother me and I go out of my way to make her feel accepted as she is . When you love someone you take the good with the bad .



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