I'm foundered and look it's lashing again,
That's all it does here, rain rain rain.
Maybe when it stops i'll go out for a wee dander,
Might pop into Cathys but then thon Gary will come out to gander.

Gary's a nosey ejit, swear it's such a sin,
He needs move to down south and go wind his wee neck in.
He sometimes calls to my house, so ofcorse I lock the doors,
Hide until he's left and crawl around my bloody floors.

He knocks on all my windows and hokes around the garden,
I'm laid on the kitchen floor thinking 'I beg your god damn pardon!' 
But deren't i go and tell him, because he's a cheeky blert
And i know that he would deck me , oh mary jesus it's a cert!

  • Author: Renzi Mars (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 25th, 2017 03:27
  • Comment from author about the poem: Just a bit of fictional fun with a wee bit of Belfast slang threw in ( for the craic) Light hearted sundays.
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 29
  • User favorite of this poem: burning-embers.


  • FredPeyer

    Renzi you lost me on this one. Who the heck is thon Gary? I tried to google it but could not find anything. Can you explain this to me?

    • Renzi

      Ahh its fictional my friend, Gary does not exist. But betrayed as a nosey neighbour! I thought today needed something light, with a bit of humour and irish slang. (Thon) 'pass me thon remote would ya'

      • FredPeyer

        Renzi, I am Swiss german, lived in Canada, now in Hawaii since about 30 years, mother tongue Swiss German, speak French and English, now think in English, but still have problems understanding the finer points of the language. So your help is really appreciated. I love your poems and read them the moment I see them. Please keep on feeding our addiction to your writing. Thanks

      • 3 more comments

      • FredPeyer

        Just found that ejit is Irish for a "fool or idiot". So who is this idiot?

      • Renzi

        My wee bio tells ya it's just for fun, 'thon gary is an ejit'
        Thought a wee break from realities seriousness was needed. I created a nosey annoying neighbour in my head (very typical to have those here in Belfast ha) and wrote something typically Belfast like ( Belfast slang included)

        • FredPeyer

          Mahalo Nui Loa! (Thank you very much)
          Never too old to learn. Would love to visit Ireland one of these days, but the chances of that are rather slim. I do love your poems. Compared to yours, mine are rather pedestrian, but not everybody can be a Renzi. πŸ™‚

          • Renzi

            Never say never πŸ˜‰ Awh thankyou, but remember, there's only one you and that is your magic 😊

          • Louis Gibbs

            Brilliant comedic contribution, Renzi! I like your Irish style!

            • Renzi

              Why thankyou kindly Louis πŸ™‚

            • Goldfinch60

              Super write Renzi, great fun and written in a great way, I understood it all and I am actually bi-lingual, I speak English and Rubbish.

              • Renzi

                Hahaha rubbish!!! Yayy now we're talking , i've got myself some qualifications in that haha! Much love

              • burning-embers

                So ive been on this site a few days now and im working my way thru earlier stuff. Some is a bit too heavy going for me but this was such light relief, no explanations necessary, oh yeah so believeable you on hands and knees hiding from a nutter. Giggling here.

                • Renzi

                  Awh why thankyou for taking the time to find it and read it. Sometimes.... When i'm not ranting, im banting some humour out πŸ™ŠAnd hey i swear on my golden nugget hair it's something i'd probably do haha!!

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