Grown

It is impossible for me to decipher

who I really am anymore

I know that I am not the trash that I have felt like too many times before

Which is good, splendid....don't get me wrong

I no longer have a big circle of friends

I don't know when a new day is beginning, let alone when the last one ends

My mind bends itself around each obstacle that lies idle in its path

I do not acknowledge my wrath as I have so well in the past

Life used to fly by me so fast

But now, it ticks by slow

Forcing me to swallow each and every minute whole

To experience everything in its entirety

The past year has seemed like five

To be alive is, for me, miraculous

I have definitely grown immensely

All of my shit, I own up to

It is all just the result of our own un-doing 

We took all of the steps that we have taken

Our legs have not been individually programmed, or at least they are not supposed to be

Thinking about all of it now, in hindsight, that could very well be the reason why I have literally seen Jack swindle the shoes right off sister Joanne

It all seems like its over these days

In this Aeon of refuge and psychological warfare

All of the chairs that are built to be fit for kings have been set in the granite that outlines these very walls

The thrones of the martyrs, the shameless vandals of royalty

Without so much as a blink of an emotionless eye

The Sky speaks so many a soliloquy of temperance and tactfulness  

Inspiring the gaiety behind the songs of all the birds

An entirely new concept of existence can really, truly now be heard and, also, understood

The goodness still far outweighs the bane

Naturally

Artistically

The prideful mutates into the proud

Mind waves all communicated up front and out loud

Even when they are merely rough-drafted

When they are youthful or pristine

Green is not the true color of envy

I don't see it having any real color at all

Like in the clouded vision of the sleep walker, me

Standing somewhere at the edge of the night

Willing and ready to take the fall

Awakening somehow, just in the nick of time

By something that lies inherently within the call of the wild.....

4/13/2012