There is a space between no longer and not yet
Where few desire to reside.
I have been stuck there for awhile
Deciding how to dig myself out of this pit of discomfort.
It's not as easy as it looks
There are roots planted deeper than I ever braved to explore
I thought if I ignored it long enough
Maybe, just maybe they would change
Like I had hoped you would too.
Hope is the birthplace of self-destruction
It lies in the space between no longer and not yet
It makes you cling to what you wish you could change
It's a vicious cycle, between trying to forget and wanting to remember
Why did I continue to accept your roses
While ignoring the thorns?
Why did I stay?
Why did I let you wound my already battered soul?
All questions that warrant a response
I guess I just lost my balance.
I was so captivated by the charming house you built for us,
That I neglected to notice all the locked doors.
But this is not love.
Love should not extinguish the fire
That burns within you,
Keeping you alive.
Love does not leave a bouquet of broken promises
A vase filled to the brim with tears
Or a corsage of your shattered dreams
Love should not destroy you.
Love is patient, and forgiving.
Love is selflessness.
The want to understand.
I know why it is you walked away.
I had prayed every day for a good man.
And unfortunately,
That was not you.
Let's get back to the beginning.
I am a tenant in the space between no longer and not yet.
I am trying to find my way back
I am not afraid
I am building my own house
Where the floors are made of strength
The walls are crafted in ambition
And the roof is a masterpiece of forgiveness.
I am building myself.
My starting point is this unsympathetic area
Amidst two coined phrases of longing
And there is something so beautiful about that.
- an exert of a book
I'll never be able to write
-
Author:
kbreinich (
Offline) - Published: July 11th, 2017 23:48
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 10
Offline)
Comments1
Inspirational work this. You just opened up a new sphere of thought in me. Where it will lead me i know not but i thank you. I love your originality here. Let us see more of your outpourings here please.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I was very skeptical at first of sharing anything, being as this is my first piece worth sharing.
If you don't mind me asking, what sphere of thought has this lead you down? I hope whatever it is brings you some type of peace.
I was immediately inspired by your opening line. Between 'what was' and 'what will be' is 'now'. All we have is 'now' and how it will affect 'what will be'. How the past will colour the future BUT in between is the way we choose to interpret our past.
Look back in anger or look back and see ones part in play of human nature from which to learn and take positive things away. In my life i am as capable as the next person to knee jerk react. But time has told me to reflect upon my experiences and find another way. I can promise you that you will surprise yourself with how strong the latter will make you.
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