WORK IN PROGRESS (2)

Michael Edwards

 

 

As swallows in the autumn fly

Held tight in grasp of circumstance

Suspicion wore an old patched coat

And as the wings of summer drooped

His anger leapt with none to wrestle

Her presence wasn’t felt

 

Blindly fighting presaged impulse

Troubles ploughed yet furrow trapped

As chalk that moves on slate defines

His heart in black beat out a pulse

The chords no longer played a tune.

Time wove its painful tapestries

For them the cradle never rocked

 

The hour came when nonel fulfilled

As flowers plucked too soon

No answers written on her face

And in the silent flowing water

Floating to eternity                  

She heard the drip of tears

 

 

 

 

 

  • Author: Michael Edwards (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 16th, 2017 00:05
  • Comment from author about the poem: Beginning to take shape - I can see some lines are dangling and will be removed as part of the distillation process and I have a couple of new lines in mind which I might incorporate - will finish it off and post result tomorrow if I am happy with it. Hope you like the progression thus far.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 48
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Comments +

Comments5

  • Nicholas Browning

    I can see the areas that were changed clearly. Well done. Looking forward to the final version. I might add, that watching this process is very educational. I thank you profusely for going through the trouble.

    • Michael Edwards

      So pleased you find it of interest - thanks for commenting.

    • orchidee

      Ooohh it's good enough now, in my view. heehee. I didn't mean: 'Oh that'll do, any old stuff!' though.

      • Michael Edwards

        Still working on it - a couple of lines are giving ,e a bit of trouble but I'll get there - trouble is I'm not sure where.

      • malubotelho

        I like both but need to admit that this one is susceptible better. Will wait for the final. Thanks

      • malubotelho

        I love those paints. Very beautiful.

        • Michael Edwards

          Thanks so much - it's a village not far from mine.

          • malubotelho

            Did you paint it? I wish I could learn from you.

            • Michael Edwards

              Yes - all the paintings which accompany my poems published here are mine - although I write poetry art - painting that is - is my first passion. It's a shame you don't live in my neck of the woods as I do teach and also run workshops, and do demonstrations.

              • malubotelho

                Oh no! I love to paint but I'm not good yet.

              • FredPeyer

                Thanks so much Michael, for letting us follow your creative process.



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