Michael Edwards

WORK IN PROGRESS (2)

 

 

As swallows in the autumn fly

Held tight in grasp of circumstance

Suspicion wore an old patched coat

And as the wings of summer drooped

His anger leapt with none to wrestle

Her presence wasn’t felt

 

Blindly fighting presaged impulse

Troubles ploughed yet furrow trapped

As chalk that moves on slate defines

His heart in black beat out a pulse

The chords no longer played a tune.

Time wove its painful tapestries

For them the cradle never rocked

 

The hour came when nonel fulfilled

As flowers plucked too soon

No answers written on her face

And in the silent flowing water

Floating to eternity                  

She heard the drip of tears

 

 

 

 

 

Comments8

  • JaneEVE

    [She heard the drip of tears] I find this very powerful, I'm back and forth between both writes :)
    I will reread as its early morning my mind not receptive this early.

    • Michael Edwards

      Thanks Jane - as Ophelia is dead I might amend it to something like 'She never heard the drip of tears'

      • JaneEVE

        Ok, will keep my eyes peeled for third piece and see what you decide.

      • Nicholas Browning

        I can see the areas that were changed clearly. Well done. Looking forward to the final version. I might add, that watching this process is very educational. I thank you profusely for going through the trouble.

        • Michael Edwards

          So pleased you find it of interest - thanks for commenting.

        • orchidee

          Ooohh it's good enough now, in my view. heehee. I didn't mean: 'Oh that'll do, any old stuff!' though.

          • Michael Edwards

            Still working on it - a couple of lines are giving ,e a bit of trouble but I'll get there - trouble is I'm not sure where.

          • Kat

            A masterful second part. I look forward to the turning of the next page!

          • Damaged Soul/Kindred Spirit

            Beginning to take shape? That's the understatement of the week. Michael this is beautiful. Is there going to be more? If so I will keep all three.

            • Michael Edwards

              The final version tomorrow - no plans to repeat but I do write this way quite a bit so could do more - one thing I've learnt: it creates a hell of a discipline.

              • Damaged Soul/Kindred Spirit

                You have my vote. I'm just a country boy that spits it out and hopes it sticks to the wall. You sir are a master

              • malubotelho

                I like both but need to admit that this one is susceptible better. Will wait for the final. Thanks

              • malubotelho

                I love those paints. Very beautiful.

                • Michael Edwards

                  Thanks so much - it's a village not far from mine.

                  • malubotelho

                    Did you paint it? I wish I could learn from you.

                  • 2 more comments

                  • FredPeyer

                    Thanks so much Michael, for letting us follow your creative process.



                  To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.