I will not Lie, can't deny, that the love I feel for you is true.
Time to open your eyes and see the light.
Time to Fight, and clean house, pull the weeds out of the Ground.
Time to make a new start, we have come this far.
It has already been for seen that we are meant to be, no other will ever,
be able to put out my fire of desire.
This all True! For the love I feel for you will never fade, go away,
never die, that's no lie.
Time to fight, and take a stand for what is really right.
Time to start our life! drown out the crowd, and the world's sounds,
See what is in front of you. Keep our love true that is how we will
pull through.
Yes we fight, and I won't deny, that sometimes we hurt the ones we love,
when pushed to far. No! I may not have a car, but my family is what has gotten me this far.
Time to heal these scars, because I know I can make it through, with or without you.
Our son's well being, is my key, to keep the insanity, that creeps in my minds eye.
So it's time to take a stand, and do what I feel is right.
If you wish to throw away our life, that's fine. Don't expect me to hold your hand,
and stand by your side.
It's time to see the lies, that others are trying to hide, they live their life in lies,
and manipulation, now these are my stipulations.
All I ask is for us to forget the past, and move on. But you rather play with your games,
and guns, rather than taking a stand for our son, who is still so young.
He does not yet understand, the cruelty of people especially those who claim to be
spiritual.
Watch their actions, all they want is to have satisfaction, and manipulation,
just to get what they want.
Because they were never taught right from wrong, so they are not as Strong.
It's time to grow up and stop acting like a child. Yeah! that's right, I've
already filed, Jacob is mine to protect, until you can learn to stand your ground.
I don't want to hear a sound, come from your mouth.
If you want to throw away your life, that's alright, but don't drag us down
with you, because now I have trust issues.
You allowed this to happen, letting others cause destruction and chaos in our lives.
No! I won't believe your lies, I am through being kicked around. So now I am duty
bound as a parent to raise our child right, since you refuse to stand up and fight.
It's time to realize your crimes, and face the facts.
YOUR A DEAD BEAT DAD!
As for my other son and daughter you should of never allowed them to call you
Father.
They have been through enough already, it's going to be hard to keep their
minds steady. What you are doing is petty, though not all your fault
you had been warned, by me and my Mother, that even your sister
and brother would have to agree, that I was the person you needed,
to help teach you to stand up and fight.
Chi was right, you have no back bone, this I have already been shown.
You won't change, you will remain the same. unless you open your eyes
to the truth and the light. Uncover the veil, so you won't continue to be
blind to all the worlds lies.
It's time to stand up and fight.
It's time to stop crying, and continue trying to move on, but when your
stuck in my mind, like my favorite songs, it's just to hard and painful
to move on.
Your burned in my heart and soul, but I need to hear it from you,
that your truly and honestly ready to let a good woman like me go.
That only goes to show, that you never loved me in the first place,
or at all.
Corrupted by your jealousy, you could not see, it was you that
brought the monster out of me.
It's time to realize that all I tried to do, was protect you from peoples
lies, but you decided to go with the flow while I changed my tides.
I was afraid to fight, because at that time, you could not see how
weak I had become. Letting others, make me feel stupid, and
dumb, like I had to always be on the run, from them
son of a guns.
But no you thought they were fun. The truth is they wanted
you to themselves sexually, because of their bisexuality.
It made me so sick to see, that I had to find somewhere,
to flee. Yet when I mentioned Wolf Creek, you denied me,
cause your pride and ego, had been shot down by reality.
This ain't no show on T.V., This is real reality.
It's time to wake up from your fantasies.
Be the man I know you can be, yet you refuse to see,
that your the beast that lost this beauty. Now as you can see,
you'll be alone for eternity, unless you open your eyes to the
truth and light.
This is a message from the Gods, time to clear that fog.
Seek guidance, don't try to hide from it or fight it, because
you know, you can't deny it.
No matter how hard you try, the truth will come into
the light.
It's time to stop the tears I cry at night, for the pain,
that you caused, is so strong, that sometimes I still
feel like I'm going to fall into a bottomless pit, with
no ground to stand upon.
Filled with only pain and sorrow, I still can't forget the
good times we had. When no one was around,
you and I acted just as silly as clowns. Now we do
nothing but frown.
Feeling depressed and down.
I can't get my mind to calm all the way down, and I know how this
sounds.
Don't think I'm dissin, I'm just pointing out the facts.
So pull out a snack, for all this pain goes way back,
deep down into childhood, always being the one feeling
misunderstood.
Wondering when it would be my turn to wear the crown.
Like a fairytale, only metaphorically, even though we are dysfunctioning.
We are all the same, and make mistakes.
How else are we suppose to grow, when we ignore those
who care, and what they are trying to show.
It is our own fault that we choose to go with the flow.
I'm sorry but I rather keep my soul.
If I have to I will be heartless and cold to protect my child,
Better believe that I will go wild, if someone tries to keep,
my children from me.
Well now it's time for you to see the real mean side of me,
Don't worry there ain't no fee, my bitch side will come out,
for free.
So go ahead and try to mess with me and mine, and see
Karma bring her own Chaos, and her painful tides.
Honey! I hate to say it but you have gone insane,
but I am willing to help, and no I'm not a mermaid,
who eats kelp.
I am writing down what I really feel deep down
inside, I know that this time I cannot let it slide.
If you so choose, after I know you'll loose, go
ahead, tuck tail and run.
I hope you have fun, with your friends, because in the end,
you were never really there for me.
Now you can see the truth.
Yeah! your cute, but honey take a look in the mirror,
and see yourself feeling inferior, to those around you.
You try to impress the crowd, and now because of them
Your gonna fall hard to the ground.
It's time to realize that I am done playing games, I
will never be the same, what a shame it had to
turn out this way, but all the same,
game well played.
Maybe next time you'll head the advice, and stand up
for what's right.
It's time to seek help, I tried to teach you and failed,
Now I must go on and remain strong.
The only way to locking away my insanity, is for
everyone to know, that my kids are the Calvary, and the key,
to making my mind right, for them I will always stand up
and fight, for my childrens rights, to grow up without any,
conflicts or fights.
Yeah! that's right. I'm stepping up to the plate,
already at the gate, ready to win my rights.
Though I must be patient and strong, other wise more,
things can go wrong.
It's time to open your eyes, and realize, I am not
dissin, trippin, or dismissin you.
Here's the real truth, all I ever did was try to protect
you and our children's lives, from people like them.
You blame me for everything, but this is the proof,
that I see.
You can deny all you want, but you did state to me,
that you thought I was trying to keep you from people
like them.
I won't lie, yeah I did try only to protect you and our
family, from their disease.
Yet you refuse, to see the truth of my words.
Well now I am gonna be heard.
I know that sometimes the truth hurts, so we choose
to go blind.
Well unlike you I chose to lift that foggy veil, and face
the facts of reality.
It ain't no fantasy, now look at all the casualties,
then tell me who is right and who is wrong.
When it comes to our son, you rather run,
from your responsibilities, yet still have my
property.
After grabbing it without my permission, even
the community and comission would agree.
It's time for intervention, trying not to make
a commotion, just shaking you back into
reality.
You have to realize, that I am being the real
me.
The woman who, stands her ground when others,
try to push her down and all around, making me
cry and frown.
All I tried to do, was help you through life,
and sacrificed, five years of my life, putting up
with your mom and dad's abuse.
You know my senses and instincts, are accurate
and acute. Yet I believe, your dishonesty.
Until I called you out, and got the truth.
So where exactly is your proof?
Yeah! you ain't no man, just a boy wanting
to do nothing but play with his toys.
Having to be demanded to get a job,
you lived like a slob, having me take care of you.
Yet you let your parents and friends, cause
issues between you and me.
Our son didn't need to be there to see, how your
mommy and daddy were treating me.
Trying to take over, treating you as if you weren't
any older than five.
When I found out I put my foot down and asked them
to leave, cause I would not let them control me.
What they did to you and I was wrong, but it seems
to me, personally, that I am the only one, willing
to stand on her own two feet.
Unlike you I have already spread my wings to fly,
been on my own before, so I know my feet are
firmly planted upon the floor.
So go ahead, cry and mourn over your own choices,
while I am rejoicing, the fact that I have my kids back.
It's time for me to let you sit and rot, and I don't care
if I sound mean, cause after all this and you don't change,
you better bet your biscuits and gravy, that I'll be gone,
because I decided to move on with my life.
I ain't satisfied with having one foot already in the
grave. I may be disabled, but I still know my times
tables, while you were sitting there playing fable,
and talking shit under the table, well now I'm stable.
Don't need no wires or cables, like a puppet on strings
I am the only one who refused to play yours and their
games.
It's time to think with your heart, instead of your head,
re-read what the bible says, look at the viking virtues,
for they are all the same.
When you are with your wife/spouse, everyone else is
out.
When you have kids, you are to think about them
instead.
You know I kept them clean and fed, and what did
you do?
Run and hide, just like a kid, behind you table
top role playing fantasies, video games, and
guns.
You always took off, when things got to tough.
The first time you swatted Jacob's butt, you left
a knot.
Yes I yelled and screamed, because of my other
two and what they are going through.
You know I miss them so, so why would you act
like him, my ex and treat me with disrespect?
After all I have done, I see now that you were
just having fun.
As Paula Abdul sings "If you are only playing
games, then all I have to say is...
BA Ba bye, BA ba bye."
Now I understand what she means, when she
sings "He's a coldhearted snake."
Thanks to you and everything you have put
all of us through, I am stronger than yesterday.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so in
my eyes if your satisfied with the way things are,
after coming so far, even helping you pay for your
car.
Then you are nothing but a coward, a little worm
under the dirt, getting eaten up by other predators.
Here is the situation, I'm giving my own prediction,
If you don't change and remain the same, you will
end up alone, this I have already foretold.
With mommy and daddy running the scene, making
schemes, on how to get rid of me.
They planted a seed and it grew, until things got worse,
and I snapped, giving you a slap, then pushing away to
walk out, cause I knew how it would of turned out if I
hadn't.
It's time to wake up and realize, I have always had our
family's best best interest at heart, only seeking help when
you would leave and take off, to the house of those freaks.
Jessica was cruel and mean, Denma threatened you and me.
Can't you see, he wants you all to himself and if you want
to go that route, after all he's done, then go away and don't
come around my house, cause when all is said and done,
you'll see the truth.
By the time you realize I'm right, I will already be far out of
your reach and sight.
I don't want no other, just my children and me, that's how
it's gonna be.
Better believe that I'll have my guns. Yes! I will be teaching,
both my sons the safety rules and regulations, let them learn
how to shoot, along with my daughter too.
IT'S TIME TO DECIDE!
The kids and me or run and hide setting us free.
Do you want your family? Or your no good parents, and friends?
Stay by your family's side or permanently say goodbye?
It's time you decide what is right, while I drop the mic and
wave my hand goodbye, but have a nice life, without anyone
at your side.
These are the consequences I mentioned, when you
signed.
Decide if you want to be in or out of our children's live
and mine, otherwise give up your rights and resign, from
all our lives.
GOODBYE!
- Author: Crystal L. Jenness (Pseudonym) ( Offline)
- Published: August 23rd, 2017 01:01
- Comment from author about the poem: Dear Readers this poem is about what I have been through and my personal heart ache. I do hope you enjoy the poem, and hope that you feel the strength and pain of my words. So enjoy I hope it don\\\'t make you cry because it is about my life, here in the present times.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 21
Comments2
Heartfelt and true, if only a little long. First poems should be just, only to express the true weight that is carried on one's consciousness. Thanks for sharing, and welcome to My Poetic Side 🙂
Thank you very kindly, and at the time I wrote it upon paper, it was expressing what actually was in my heart, and the experiences I have recently went through, but I shall to keep in mind to keep them short if anything, I will split the longer ones up in the near future, thank you for the allowing me to, publish my poems, for they are all spoken from the heart, and the experiences and feelings I have been dealing with in my life. I appreciate your input and look forward to see how others react to the poems I post.
WELCOME CRYSTAL (LOVELY AND APPROPRIATE NAME) Welcome to MPS and thanks for your first SAGA ~ which (as you say) is straight from your heart I enjoyed the forthrightness and resolve in it ! Loved the Video ! I love ANIME and the picture of the DARK ANGEL is so so compelling and awesome. Your poem did make me cry (so much pain & angst) because I am a Gentleman and my Mum always taught me to respect Ladies and always treat them as Angels which i do ! You are correct in your actions GOD has given you the JOY and RESPONSIBILITY of being a MOM ~ no higher calling ~ AMEN Thinking of you ~ praying for you ~ may FREYA be with you 24/7 ~ Yours BRIAN (UK 33)
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Dearest friend. I plan on posting many more, for they are nothing but the truth, I hope that you enjoy reading them. The poem turned into a sonnet. My hope is that my words inspire others, to keep fighting no matter the world's negative vibes. May God and Freya always be with you. Blessed Be My Friend! 🙂
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