darkangelpoetry

An Open Letter To My Depression

Dear Depression,

Remember me?

your oldest friend

your bittersweet lover?

 

I fondly remember

meeting you for the first time

at age 12

 

when my father abandoned me

leaving me here alone in the dark

at age 13 you became my only

companion the only one I could call friend.

 

What I have learned of sadness

and despair in its purest form

was from you depression.

 

At 14 you showed me

only comfort comes

from slashing my wrists

 

shedding my blood

to bring serenity

to silence the voices

in my mind the voices

that won't go to sleep.

 

When everyone left me alone

your encouraging voice rang in my head

"Just end it" "You'll be pain free"

 

Because of you

everywhere I go

I'm see as a creature

an ugly creature.

 

At age 15 I sold my soul to you

I gave you my heart and mind

in exchange for my sanity.

in exchange for my mentality.

 

At age 16 I thought

you left me alone once again

I find myself in limbo

between hope and despair.

I thought I was alone again.

 

At 18 you came back in my life

only to taunt and torture me

like he did he told me loved me

he had a hell of a way to show it.

I was nothing to him but his puppet

and he was pulling my strings.

 

Because of you depression

I live each day with darkness in me

waiting to engulf me in it's embrace.

 

Depression, my depression feels

like a demon sucking every drop of life from me

leaving an empty shell in it's wake.

 

Depression makes you wonder

if your life has meaning

or is it nothing but an empty void

with no purpose

no meaning.

Now at age 20

I have let failure go

I have let despair go

I have let anger go

I have let sadness go

I have let you go depression.

 

Dear depression

Here I am at age 20

You don't own me anymore

I have embraced hope

and embraced new life 

I am living life each day to the fullest.

My life now has meaning

my life now has purpose.

 

Dear depression

you are not welcome here anymore

Goodbye!

  • Author: DarkAngelPoetry (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 14th, 2017 10:35
  • Comment from author about the poem: I have been dealing with depression since I was 13 years old due to difficult things in my life that I have had to deal with growing up, My father leaving me and my family at the age of 12 left a mark on me that will always be there for the rest of my life yet I am still here. I wrote this as an open letter to my depression declaring that depression has no control over me and I am the bigger person. This piece contains triggering material (mentions of self harm and emotional abuse).
  • Category: Letter
  • Views:

Comments3

  • lasergraph

    WOW, A life story and one full of tragic events. I am glad you have learned to let go and I trust writing about it helped with that endeavor.

    • darkangelpoetry

      Thank you, writing has always been my get away

      • lasergraph

        I understand that completely.

      • myself and me

        I am living life each day to the fullest.
        That is the spirit. The best way to celebrate the victory. Congratulations, You beat it.

      • sue.evans

        Wow! Felt your torture in so many lines - glad you have turned a corner.
        Sue



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