My sun is dying out now
Just over my fence
Blacking out the last day I will see
Comets are attracted to the backs of my heels
Visible only when sun is taken from me
The sunrise ignites now
Just over your fence
It does not belong to me
That I am bound for the gallows today
I hand it over to you, respectfully.
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Author:
Tirzah Marie (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 17th, 2017 13:05
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 52
Offline)
Comments4
Passing of the torch? Can't say. What I can say is that I enjoy the darker theme. Nice.
Beautiful
Thanks for your first poem TIRZAH ~ Perfect inits structure ~ Gothic in its substance ! It resembles the Japanese form SEDOKA in which two quintains are presented as one poem ~ with the same subject but from a differing perspective. Our life on Earth is not Eternal and we must all pass into the next plane of consciousness sometime. The poetic contemplation of that can be very cathartic. This is expressed perfectly in your first QUINTAIN and it made me less afraid of physical death ~ gracias. The comets are indeed only visible in the absence of the SUN ! In the second Quatrain I love the concept that you hand "this life" back to Mother Earth as you journey into the next Astral Plane. Please let me know if you appreciated my interpretation of another Fantasy Poem ~ Yours BRIAN
A quintain. What an observation. I didn't think of that. You are a character. Thanks Brian!
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