Depression.

Erin

Talking about it doesn't make it go away.

Because always at the end of the day..

It drags me back to my bed and I am left with sadness and gray. 

I can't even look at people. 

Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my own mind.

I try to convince myself that I'm fine but I always come to realize that no matter how hard I try... I'm not alright.

I can't even sleep at night..

I'm really starting to lose this fight. 

One day my depression is invisible.. the next day, it's eating me alive.

It's my best friend, I've learned to live with it.

But it's also my worst enemy and it rips me apart... bit.. by bit..

Society will tell me to go for walks, listen to music, meditate

I am infused with insecurities and self-hate.

I try to be positive.. I try meditation. 

But this isn't something that can be cured with any type of medication

This is a disease that messes up my concentration.

Prevents me from having conversations.

It controls every aspect of my life...

My work, my relationships, my education.

Sometimes I just want people to see that I am down.

I want to be found. 

But no matter how much I try, I can't bring myself out

Because on the outside, everything's calm.

But in my head...

...it is so fucking loud.

  • Author: Erin D. (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 31st, 2017 01:20
  • Comment from author about the poem: I took a few ideas from one of my favorite YouTube videos on spoken word but nevertheless, I was writing exactly what I felt.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 30
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Comments4

  • Egyptianqt79

    I love her .....u talking bout Sabrina? U watch button poetry !!!!! She got me too! It's the way she says it. I love spoken poetry. I love ur poetry too ! U did amazing!!!!!!

    • Erin

      Thank you so much and yes, Sabrina Benaim!! I also combined my thoughts with a poem by ClickForTaz on youtube. 🙂

      • Egyptianqt79

        I'm gonna go look!!!! I love spoken poetry. You're good I hear yours in my head. It's funny we both submitted the same title poem today!!!

        • 2 more comments

      • TN96

        This is brilliant! And in someways scarily relate-able! Welcome to MPS 🙂

      • myself and me

        Suffer what you are suffering. Yes, your mind want to fight, but the body won't follow.
        Do not give up, keep fighting, keep hoping til one day you find a way out.
        Very well done.

      • Fate

        I build machines
        I design industrial plants
        When my family has a problem I fix it
        I was raised to be able to work on/fix anything
        That's how I'm known
        Why can't I fix me
        I'm not very big on poetry
        I only write the things I dare not speak
        But I really enjoyed reading how the world around you quote simple fixes to your feelings
        I get the same thing
        Meditate, medicate, etc.
        Everyone around me gets joy from reading my poems but they don't understand that it's not poetry I'm writing



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