Liberty_Shadows

Suicide Note

Why do you think that I'm bipolar, and have depression?

It's because of you, Dad!

So fucking pay attention!

You're the reason why I have these suicidal thoughts!

Love and affection?

Fuck that!

That's the one thing that I never got!

You ain't ever tried to build a bond! 

Any hope or connection I ever had with you is fucking gone!

You haven't been a father to me since I was 6 years old, Dad!

What?

You don't like what I'm typing?

Well too bad!

You ain't ever tried to see things from my fucking view!

Hell, you stood there and watched as I was being abused! 

Don't ever try to fucking tell me that you ever cared.

Cuz when I needed you most,

You were never there!

You wont ever let me have freedom, 

Because you're afraid that I will choose others over you.

Well I got news for you, Dad, 

I fucking hate you.

That's the truth! 

You never accepted me for who I am!

Everybody else did!

But you seem to be accepting me for what i am right now,

Cuz im fuckin dead!

You were always comparing me to others!

You always made me feel like shit!

Well, News flash Dad!

Nobody's perfect!

You treat me like some fucking slave!

What?

You regret the sick shit you did? 

Wish you never said the things you did?

Tell it to my grave!

You fucking hate me!

You made that perfectly clear!

But I bet you wouldn't be treating me like this if social services were here!

You don't know how many times I've wanted to take that blade,

And slice open my fucking wrists,

And just bleed away!

You don't know how many smiles I've had to fake!

But what do you care?

You put that depression in me,

For Fuck's sake!

No sense in saying you're sorry, Dad.

It wont make any difference, ok?

So go ahead and cry those fake tears at my funeral. 

Don't even bother to apologize.

It's not like anyone's gonna believe those watery lies!

You never fucking showed me love!

You only shown me hate. 

Wanna take it back now?

It's too late. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Author: Liberty Howard (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 14th, 2017 11:14
  • Comment from author about the poem: For those who know the struggle of abuse, and a terrible father, this one is to you. I was abandon by my birth mother when i was barely a year old. so, the first thing I ever learned was that i was a mistake. This my ultimate life story. Enjoy.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views:
  • Users favorite of this poem: sinisterdragon321, Liberty_Shadows.

Comments8

  • Allysnewworld

    Powerful, honest and rightfully brutal. Well written indeed, I hope you find comfort in those that you do have. Fuck your dad, I hope you find better love.

  • Tony36

    Powerful, honest, and a great write

  • Ternic73

    A lot of truth and power in your words I hope you find peace

  • Poetic Dan

    Such a powerful read
    Took me back 20 years
    I killed myself to everyone
    Took on the world alone

    Luckily I made it through
    Have children of my own
    But this world is still Full of men
    Just like the ones we know

    I'm thankful for your truth
    Such hard pain to share
    Never stop being who you are
    An amazing piece of art

  • G84

    If you aren't musical you should be, I say this because your writing has a rythym to it that fits well in some music styles that I like too.
    As for the subject of your poem, it shows immense feeling and bravery to unleash that level of darkness, I've had some shit in the past that messed me up for several years and ruined several relationships, I wrote all the way through it never shared it and some poems are lost for good but they needed to be written m, keep writing, it's a clear talent and it's also therapy, trust me!

    Above all else keep smiling 🙂

  • Simple-Man87

    Wow... Incredible. Reminded me a lot of Marshalls song to his mom. I too have been in a similar situation. You are so passionate and blunt. Very talented.

  • Seek

    Wow so frank and so open about your anger! Perhaps the best way to get your revenge is to live your life as a free lady ready to move on.

  • MendedFences27

    L.S. - Listen to Seek. Consider today the first day of YOUR life. Build it the way you want it to be. Just make sure that poetry is a part of it.
    Great emotional write. _ Phil A.



To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.