sick

I sat down on my roof

staring at the dark blue sky

wondering if the light would ever come back

wondering if it feels hopeless too

I picked up my phone

looking for anyone willing to listen

"do your parents know that you have a plan to kill yourself?"

"I don't have a plan. I'm just scared that I will."

"when did you plan on doing it?"

"I didn't."

I hung up the phone

There were no more tears

I asked the midnight blue 

why it wasn't crying either

but it didn't answer me

She never told me I was going to be okay

Neither did the therapist

or my mom

or my sister

or the doctor

or the psychiatrist

How was I supposed to make it through 

if no one told me I would?

It was that moment,

when I sat down on my roof,

staring at the dark blue sky

wondering if it feels hopeless too

That I learned

People can't train the sad into happy

They can only torment the sad into sick